Military and Musical Inspiration

Music can be such a big part of our lives. A song can bring you back to a specific time and place. Music for working out, music for celebrations and party, music for remembering. Music can inspire.

Just in time for Veteran's Day comes an article about just that - inspiration and the military.

The HUB at Musician's Friend talked to a few musicians who have been inspired by members of the military, and to some military spouses who talked about the music that inspires them - especially during those tough times like deployments.

These interviews culminated in Music Is My Rock: Veterans Share Stories of Musical Inspiration.

What music inspires you?

PS... I was one of the military spouses interviewed for this article. I share what song helped me get through Joe's deployment to Afghanistan, and also a memory of music being part of my family's life when my dad was stationed at Ramstein AB in Germany.

So Thankful

I know I have much to be thankful for, but for the sake of keeping it simple, 2 major things stick out in my mind.

I think about how different this Thanksgiving is from last year. Last year Joe was deployed and he and several other guys tried what they could to have a traditional Thanksgiving meal. Thanks to friends and family back home, they got their Thanksgiving meal. I'm thankful that this year Joe is with us for the holidays, but I'm very aware that so, so, so many military members still deployed and not with their families. I continue to keep them, and their families, in my thoughts and prayers.

The other major thing I'm thankful for this year is my dad. Last year at this time my dad had just been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I think I was in denial with his diagnosis and couldn't believe it was true. Prognosis isn't good with a stage 4 diagnosis and I don't think his doctors expected him to still be around by this Thanksgiving. Well my dad is not only still here this Thanksgiving, he's in remission. Remission. He and his wife are here spending Thanksgiving with us and I'm so grateful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Hickory Farms

I don't remember when it started, but several years ago it turned in to a tradition to give Joe something from Hickory Farms for Christmas. I've always enjoyed their sausages and cheese and I was running out of ideas on what to get Joe. Walking through the mall I stopped by their temporary store and realized Joe would like one of their many gift boxes ... and it became a tradition of sorts to pick him out one every year. Not to mention I like stopping by the store to sample the products as well!

Its hard to buy gifts for someone when they are deployed. They don't have a lot of space in their room to store items as it is; and you don't want to make it more work for them to have to mail the gifts back home or try to pack it in their few military bags amongst uniforms and gear and supplies.

Once again Hickory Farms was to the rescue! I could send Joe a little 'taste from home' and something he was used to getting at Christmas. It would be something he could consume and share so he didn't have to worry about taking it back home with him at the end of his deployment. They have a selection of gift packages for military with free shipping to APO/FPO addresses. I'm all about the free shipping! So that was one gift down for Joe last year.

We'll eat Thanksgiving dinner in the late afternoon and for snacks in the early afternoon I'll put out some Hickory Farms items from the Home for the Holidays Gift Basket. I already know we all like the beef and Italian sausages and the cheeses; now I'm looking forward to trying the Honey Pineapple Mustard (Joe's favorite is the Sweet Hot Mustard).

For every Party Planner Gift Box ordered $5 will be donated to Share Our Strength's No Kid Hungry Campaign - the leading non-profit organization working to end childhood hunger in America.

Speaking of Thanksgiving; I'm so very thankful my dad and his wife will be spending it with us this year. Last year he was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and is now in remission and has been off chemo for a month. What a blessing in deed!


 “I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Hickory Farms and received a signature gift box from Hickory Farms to thank me for taking the time to participate.”

Turning A Corner

I've been meaning to do a post about Lucas. And separation anxiety. And being attached to me.

Lucas is around the age where separation anxiety can kick in for a kid. Combine that with the fact that we've been through some changes recently with the move to SC and not living at Grandma's house in MD anymore and Joe returning from deployment.

I have been the only 'constant' in his short life so far, so it would only make sense for him to be attached to me.

About a month after we moved here we picked Joe's mom up at the airport (curbside). I got out to greet her, opened the trunk to put her suitcase in, and heard Lucas sobbing. For some reason he though I was leaving and was so upset. He kept saying he wanted me to sit back down.

Then MOPS started. He clung to my hand and started crying and didn't want me to leave the room. 2 weeks later I explained we were going to MOPS again and he would go in the room with the kids and I would go in the room with the Mommies. He stated he did NOT want to go to MOPS. He did NOT want to be in with the kids. "I want to go in your room with the mommies." (I went through the same thing with Kayla and MOPS as well. She would cry as we just started walking down the hallway. The 3rd time at MOPS there were no tears.) When I picked him up I asked if he had a fun time playing with the kids and he said, "Yes and I not sad. I didn't cry!" (yay!)

I recently enrolled him in a Rolly Pollies pre-school type class where he goes 2x a week for 3.5 hrs. Thankfully this has been a smooth transition; he absolutely loves it and says good bye to me each time without any problems of me leaving. Which is a good thing because those tears are so hard to walk away from!

Overall he's adjusted to being back with Joe just fine. He's fine playing with him and showing affection towards him etc. However, when it came to doing anything ... he wanted me. He wanted me to get his drinks, or snacks, or take him to the bathroom, or get him in and out of his car seat, or buckle and unbuckle him. He would become upset if Joe tried to do those things and start crying saying he wanted mommy to do it.

Bedtime was something else. We read to the kids together and then split up with Joe putting Kayla to bed and me putting Lucas to bed. I've been putting Lucas to bed for 2.5 yrs so of course that was what he was used to. When Joe tried putting him to bed he would get so sad and cry and cry those big crocodile tears saying he wanted mommy. I was away for 2 weekends and he was perfectly fine letting Joe put him to bed those nights.

I would tell Lucas "but daddy loves you too" and he would respond "no mommy loves me" or "daddy loves Kayla." I would tell him "but daddy wants to put you to bed" and his reply would be "no I want mommy put me to bed" or "daddy wants Kayla."

About 3 wks ago I was out for a Mom's Night Out and wasn't back for bedtime. Again he was perfectly fine with Joe putting him to bed. And every single night since then when we ask him "who is putting you to bed tonight?' He has responded "daddy!" Wow ...where did that come from? All of a sudden he wants Joe to put him to bed (hey wait a min, what happened to his love for his mommy?! - ha!)

I'm hesitant to say these behaviors are due to Joe's deployment and being gone for 1.5 yrs. It could definitely be a factor, but I know kids go through separation anxiety at this stage; and kids go through stages where they prefer one parent over the other. At times it was getting a little exhausting when he wouldn't let Joe do anything for him ... so happy we are turning that corner.

Then very early this morning he came downstairs crying. I heard this little voice "I want mommy" over and over as he made his way downstairs. Awww ... this little boy still does love/want/need his mommy. 

Special Exposure Wednesday

Last week the base held a "Little Heroes" ceremony for children who had parents deployed, or recently returned from a deployment. They recognized the kids for the sacrifices they make, and for being strong, while their parent is deployed. They kids all received medals and certificates.

Special Exposure Wednesday

Reunited with their daddy - for one day anyway!

The Deployment Is Over!

After traveling for 5 days, being in 5 countries (including the ones he started and ended in), and dealing with delays, Joe is finally back in the states!

He arrived at Baltimore-Washington airport at 0430 on Sunday morning.

Welcome Home!

The darn weather and delays interfered with my plans for meeting him at the airport (not at 0430, but his original arrival time of 1045pm Fri and then 830pm Sat.) So we were not there to celebrate the big homecoming, which made me a little sad - I wanted him to have his family greet him at the airport. But I have to let go of what I can't control and just remember the fact that he's home!

He did have an overnight layover so he was here all day Sunday and we saw him after all.

When the roads were in a better condition to drive on, I went to Baltimore to pick him up and bring him back here. No one told the kids where I was going, or that Joe was coming home.

Right before we got home my mom had Kayla and Lucas hold their 'welcome home' signs... and I think Kayla was so focused on making sure she was standing still and holding her sign she didn't quite know how to act when Joe came in! She very nonchalantly said "hi daddy" but didn't move from her spot! Not the reaction I was expecting out of her at all! It was nothing like when she saw him here and here. I think she was too stunned to react!

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The kids loved having Joe here...they had so much fun with him all Sunday afternoon. Sunday night I stayed in Baltimore with Joe and Monday morning he left to go back to N.M. to inprocess and all that 'fun' stuff.

He'll be back here at the end of March when he takes a few weeks leave before heading to Charleston, S.C. in April.

I'm so glad this deployment is over ... now 5 more months to go before we're all together at our new base - Charleston AFB, S.C.!

The Reunion That Wasn't

I should be welcoming Joe back "home" right about now. And by "home" I just mean to the states; because although he's coming back, he's not coming back here. He needs to report back to Holloman, and has to go directly there.

He was supposed to be landing at an airport that just so happens to be near us; (we got lucky about his arrival location) just about this time. It worked out that he was scheduled for an overnight layover and leaving for NM tomorrow in the late morning. Since I'm blogging now that obviously didn't happen.

Traveling to and from any deployed location doesn't usually go smoothly. The only constant is that things are unpredictable.

You learn not to expect their arrival until 10 minutes before the flight lands; or at the very least until you confirm their plane has left the very last location before heading stateside.

You know not to get your hopes up that they'll arrive when their original flight itinerary indicates they will.

You hope for the best and expect the worst...but even so, if the worst happens you can't help but be disappointed. The constant changes and uncertainty of when they will actually, finally, arrive is frustrating.

Joe left Afghanistan on Tuesday and I thought I'd be welcoming him "home" tonight, but that's been delayed. What's a few more days when it's already been a year, right?

Then he was supposed to get in at 0400 Sat morning, what a nice time for an airport reunion.

That was again pushed back to 830 Sat night; which wasn't too bad because it would mean he would have that overnight layover.

What's that? Oh, he still hasn't even left his 2nd location (with 2 more stops to go)? Forget about that 830 showtime now.

New estimated arrival is another oh-dark-thirty time.

The 830pm time was much more preferable.

Now if he arrives in the early morning hours it'll give him enough time to catch that next day's flight he was scheduled for - meaning we would have a few hours at the airport, at best.

It's better than nothing, and I'm hoping we'll get at least that.

If not, I'll just have to be content knowing he's safely back in the states.

In the meantime I'll continue to pray for safe travels.

Deployed Thanksgiving Recap

I'm a little late in posting about Joe's Thanksgiving, but still wanted to post some pictures and thank everyone who sent the canned goods over to Afghanistan. They received so much food! They were able to have a very nice Thanksgiving with enough food left over to plan a Christmas meal too.

These pictures show just some of the boxes received!













And this drawing from Bethany's sweet son Mason...



And speaking of Bethany, check out her blog - you could win an Ipod Touch or a quilt; just for a $10 donation to Zhora - from Reece's Rainbow.

A Request From Afghanistan

This is a follow up from my post Thanksgiving in Afghanistan. Thanks for the suggestions on the turkeys - a contractor over there has committed to getting them some turkeys so they are good to go with that. Yay!

Now they need the typical side items to go along with the turkey.

That's where the request comes in.

Joe, and the group of guys that are working together to try and make this Thanksgiving meal happen, are asking friends and family to donate/send canned goods.

So I'm putting the word out there to see if anyone would like to help out.

I'm not organizing this canned food drive; I'm not the POC for making sure they get enough of each item...I'm just spreading the request. With the 'committee' all asking their family and friends for donations the hope is that they will get enough of what they need. And if they have enough leftover they will use it towards a Christmas meal. I know they're hoping to get enough of each canned item, but they're also grateful for whatever they do receive and will make do with what they get.

I do know there are about 200 US troops where Joe is deployed.

The items they are looking for are: sweet corn, green beans, peas, cranberry sauce, and stuffing mix.

If people want to send 1 can, 4 cans, 10 cans or however many, it will all add up and every little bit will help.

If you're interested in sending something, please email me so I can send you Joe's address.

FYI: The postage cost to send something over there is the same as if you were sending to someone in the states; because in fact it does get sent to NY, and then from there goes on a military cargo plane out, so there isn't any extra postage incurred.

Also there are Priority Mail APO large flat rate boxes that are used for military APO addresses only; and these might be a little cheaper depending how heavy the items are that you send. (Using these boxes the postage is $11.95 as opposed to a regular large flat rate box at $13.95.)

When I send Joe boxes they have been getting to him in a week, so there is time for the canned items to get there.

Thank you!

When Joe Returns

In a previous post I was asked "what are your plans for once Joe's back home? Where do you see yourselves 18 months from now?"

The quick answer to what our plans for when Joe returns is: to settle in to our new duty location which will be Charleston AFB, SC.

But the answer isn't that easy.

When people ask me when Joe is coming back I say "Feb" and they usually say "Oh that's not so far away now! He'll be home soon!" Which is true - Feb is just around the corner and Joe will be back in the states; however I always feel like I have to follow that up with a "but..." because we're not automatically going to all be together after that. The whole separation thing won't be over.

Joe is still assigned to the base we were at in NM. He has to return there. He has to outprocess there before inprocessing at Charleston.

When we moved to MD we knew that we were going to stay here through June so Kayla could finish out this school year and not move in the middle of school again. That is still our plan. We thought Joe would be at his next assignment and he would be about a day's drive away and we could see him once a month figuring that would be for four months.

Well Joe doesn't report to Charleston until Aug. That throws a kink into a lot of things -namely that means he would remain in NM until that time (no he can't be temporarily assigned here in MD for those 6 months). The main problem with that is we signed out of base housing - he doesn't have a house to go back to and our stuff is in storage.

So right now the plan is for Joe to request an earlier report date for Charleston. Hopefully that will be approved. Once he gets there I'll go down there and we can either house-hunt, or get base housing (we're still trying to decide what we want to do). Once that is figured out we'll join him after Kayla's out of school.

As for where I see us in 18 months - right now I just see us settled in to our new assignment in SC!

And somewhere in the middle of all that I told Joe my plan for when we're all settled in SC is that I'm taking off by myself somewhere for a week so he and the kids can get reacquainted :) I have a friend from high school who is in GA and another friend from high school who will be in NC by that time next year. The 3 of us were always together in Germany and we're looking forward to a little reunion together :)

So there is the long answer of when Joe returns!

Thanksgiving in Afghanistan

I know this is a long shot, but hey, sometimes you just never know who might be reading your blog, so I thought it was worth a shot.

Is there anyone out there who has any connection to the food service industry...along the lines of getting a bunch of turkeys to Afghanistan for Thanksgiving?

Joe and a bunch of guys over where he's at are trying to figure out how to have a decent Thanksgiving dinner.

Since there are multi-national forces there the dining hall puts together a small section for the US troops to have a Thanksgiving meal; but from what Joe heard about last year's meal it was just frozen, processed turkey breast slices. They would like to try and get some real turkeys over there this year, if they can.

So just in case someone out there knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who might possibly be able to help out, or offer suggestions...I said I would throw this out there...cause you just never know!

31 Days Already?

I can't believe it's the end of October! Which also means the end of "31 for 21" - whew, I made it! Posted every day for October!

I just realized I never answered the questions that were asked to me on that first post either - so here goes.

1. What are your plans for once Joe's back home? Where do you see yourselves 18 months from now? I'm actually going to answer this in an upcoming post!

2. I would like you to post on how you and Joe met, how long you dated, were engaged, etc. Here is the story of how we met. I was telling Joe the other day that although we did meet in high school, our relationship more closely resembles one where the couple met online! We pretty much 'dated' for 2 years long-distance...so all the 'getting to know' you time happened via emails and chats!

3. Because I recall Kayla being a bit of a peanut, what size is she in now and is Lucas catching up to her? Kayla is in size 6 for tops, although in long-sleeves the sleeves are a bit long on her. But if I go with a 5 the shirt is too short in the waist. Her pant size is 5, but again the length is a little long on her legs, but it fits better in the waist then a 4 would. Shoe is 9.5. Kayla is 40 lbs and 41 inches. I have no idea where she is on the Ds, or typical, charts. At Lucas's 18 month appointment he was...hmm...I think 27 lbs and 32 inches...geesh I need to keep better track! He's not catching up too quickly, yet! He's in 18 month pants and 18-24 months shirts. I know Kayla was not wearing 18 month clothes when she was 18 months though!

4. How has inclusion worked for Kayla so far? How are you going to explain ds to Kayla and Lucas? I think, so far, inclusion has been the right thing for Kayla, and her classmates, at this stage in her life. The kids here (just like last year in NM) seem to want to 'help' Kayla and while that is sweet of them, I know she does not like assistance like that - she is so independent and wanting to do for herself. I think because she is smaller and looks younger for her age they tend to want to 'mother' her. Hopefully the teacher is helping the kids realize that there is a lot Kayla can do on her own and she doesn't always need so many helpers :)

As for how we are going to explain Ds to Kayla and Lucas: I honestly don't know yet! I guess I'm thinking it will be some gradual realization for them and we'll definitely talk about it. We have the book "Meet Annie" and there is a part in the story where she says "I have Down syndrome." This isn't in the book, but then I say to Kayla "Just like you. You have Down syndrome too." I know she doesn't understand that right now, but eventually she will. I also plan on getting the book "We'll Paint the Octopus Red."

5. Would you ever consider adopting? Yes Joe and I have mentioned adoption a time or two! It is something I've thought about, but not enough where I've given it serious consideration and we've started the process or anything.

6. Would you ever consider adopting a child with down syndrome? Yes I've considered this too! Especially when looking over the pictures at Reece's Rainbow an international Down Syndrome Orphan Ministry. Kids with disabilities in Eastern Europe are transferred from orphanages/baby homes to mental institutions around age 4. After that it becomes very difficult for adoption, and most don't survive the institutions. It's such a sad situation over there and it breaks my heart to think of what those kids go through. I do what I can by sponsoring adoption funds for the children waiting for their forever families.

7. Where do you and Joe (& the kids) plan to be in 5 years? Could you live abroad again? I think I remember your saying you lived in Germany. Will you go back to visit? Where would you like to travel to as a family? I have no idea where we'll be in 5 years - wherever the military sends us! Actually when Joe gets back next year he'll only have 3 years left before he hits that 'magical' number of 20 years in the service; and then he can retire! Yikes! That's kind of scary to think about because I'm not sure we're quite ready for the military retirement - we don't even know where we want to settle down at. So we could possibly still be in SC (where his orders are for after this deployment), or stationed somewhere else. We've talked about living in Germany again, maybe we'll stay in past 20 and try to get orders to Germany - that would be a neat experience for the kids. We do have friends stationed in Germany now and it would be fun to go back and visit them; although the thought of an overseas flight with my two kids stresses me out! Flying period stresses me out!

8. How is inclusion going in school for Kayla? See above :)

9. If Lucas had been a girl, what name would you have chosen? I posted the names we were thinking about, and even up till I was in labor we still weren't 100% sure what name we were going to use for a boy, or girl!

Life When You're Deployed

The snow on the mountains are from back in Feb, when he first arrived in country.




Boxes upon boxes filled with bottled water


Mail (or morale!) call


Recreation = volleyball


A "holding area" when you're in between flights/destinations


Scenes from a suicide car bomber (picking up debris)


The blast shattered the glass on the back window of this bus










The 'landscape' that I can see reflected in Joe's glasses reminds me of New Mexico!

Baking Gals

I read an article in a magazine about Baking Gals and since I know a lot of you out there like to bake, and this group sends baked goods to deployed troops, I thought I would pass on the information.

They have bakers from all over the country and about once a month they bake cookies, bars, any type of goodies that will ship well, and send them to designated troops overseas.

All you have to do is sign up on the Baking Gals website and then select which "team" you would like to join!

Special Exposure Wednesday

Kayla after her daddy got on a plane to head back to Afghanistan...


(The rest of the airport pictures are in the slideshow in the post below)

Creating Memories

I tried to make the most of the 2 weeks we had with Joe; planning fun things we could do as a family since he's missing out on a year of doing things like that with us.

Sometimes it worked out; like building a school bus at Lowe's Build and Grow Clinic, and going to the Inner Harbor in Baltimore for the Ride The Ducks tour.

Sometimes it didn't; like when we lasted 2 innings at the Southern Maryland Blue Crabs baseball game because of a thunderstorm, or the hayride that wasn't at the Oxon Cove Farm (but we still explored the farm), and the carousel and train ride that were closed at Watkins Regional Park (but we still went to the Nature Center).

And Joe was here for Kayla's first day of school, so that was nice.

Even though everything didn't go "as planned" here is a slideshow of the memories we did make.

The song I'm Already There by Lonestar gets me every time, but even more so now, so I thought it was the perfect song for the slideshow.

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Deja Vu

His toothbrush, deodorant, and razor are gone from the bathroom sink.
Now, only 3 towels hang in the bathroom.
His pile of clothes are gone from the floor. They've been washed and put back in drawers and hung in the closet ... not to be worn again for several months.
The uniform is gone from the house.
The spot beside me in bed is empty and cold.
His snacks have been put aside to be mailed in a care package.
His wallet and sunglasses are gone from the counter top.
The kids' rough-housing playmate is missing from the floor.
His laptop is gone from the end-table.
The kitchen table isn't quite so full anymore.
His presence is gone; it's too quiet in the house, even with the kids making their own loud noises.
It's almost as if he was never here; that's how fast the 2 weeks went by. In a blur.
Not enough time with him.
It's never enough time when you have this long separation looming.
It was like deja vu driving to the airport.
Different airport but same outcome.
Having to say goodbye, but not wanting to again.
The first tears started when the kind, warm, welcoming Delta agent approached and asked him where he was headed...then the sincerity and catch in her voice when she said "Thank you."
Reality hit, we were going to have to go through this again.
Saying goodbye at the gate and trying desperately not to cry, especially in front of the kids, but losing that battle almost immediately. As if I even had a chance.
Watching him walk away and thinking I just can't do this again.
Knowing I have to, knowing there isn't a choice.
Hurting at the thought of how long our family isn't a complete family.
Thankful I'm not going through this alone and have the support of family and friends near and far.
Putting one foot in front of the other.
Taking it day by day.