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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Domestic Violence: My Story

It seems that any other awareness campaign that happens in October gets overshadowed by Breast Cancer Awareness. I don't know of all of the awareness campaigns for October, but I do know besides Down Syndrome Awareness, it is also Domestic Violence Awareness. 

Even though this evolved from the first Day of Unity in Oct 1981, it still seems to be something that is not often spoken about or brought out in the public light. It is still one of those issues people just don't like to talk about. It's an ugly topic, no doubt about it. It's not easy to bring the subject up if you suspect someone of being abused, and it's not easy to admit if you are being abused.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence has many resources, information, and ways to get help. There is also a trailer for a powerful documentary called Private Violence: Why Didn't She Leave?

According to a few stats I've read recently:
- 1 in 4 women have experienced domestic violence
- nearly 3 out of 4 Americans know someone who is or who has been a victim of domestic violence
- an average of 3 women in the United States lose their lives every day as a result of domestic violence

Pretty sobering statistics. While those all reflect what happens to women, domestic violence can and does happen to men as well.


I am one of those 1 in 4 who have experienced domestic violence in a relationship.

It happened around 15 years ago. I don't dwell on it anymore. That seems like another lifetime to me now. I've moved on. We've both moved on. We've both remarried and last I heard he has 5 boys. I certainly hope that means he changed his ways and learned some coping strategies with anger management classes.


What I experienced wasn't as extreme as what some woman experience, but I know it can help to read about some one's story. To read about something you might have went through, or are going through, and know you're not alone ... even though every story is different.

Here is my story that I first posted 5 years ago.

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6 comments:

Becca said...

Wow, I didn't realize it was Domestic Violence Awareness Month, too. I'm glad you came out the good end of your situation, and hope your ex has learned something. Thank you for sharing that. Btw, your link at the bottom links back to the Domestic Violence Awareness page, not your post...

Mom24 said...

The link at the bottom is broken. I would love to hear your story. I'm glad yours has a happy ending, thank you for being so brave as to share it. This is one of my biggest concerns for my girls, I would hate for them to end up in a relationship where they were abused. I would hope they would know they could always count on us, but I also know it's complicated, people tend to want to hide it. Hopefully we raised our oldest and our raising Jacob to know that violence is never OK.

Mom24 said...

that's "are" raising Jacob. Sheesh!

Thanks for fixing it. :)

lovemy3 said...

Thank you for sharing your story. Yes, it is easy to say how you would react to a certain situation when you aren't in that situation. You never know how you will respond or what you will do until you are in the midst of it. I'm glad things worked out for you!!

krlr said...

Oh, Michelle I hardly know what to say. I'm obviously thrilled you got out & that you were able to find a good guy. My heart is breaking a little for those boys of his though. And I also have to say thank you - in my very brief stint "with the city" we mostly responded to DV calls and I will confess I could not grasp the dynamics. Did not get it at all. This helps. I hope someone reads this, recognizes themselves, and gets help. xoxo

Stephine said...

I was in an abusive relationship as well. I had been married for 2 years. I had known him for 3 years and we got married after graduating. He was never violent before or in the early part of our marriage. But around the time our son Henery was 1, he began to become very hostile and controlling. I figured because he had gotten a new job with less authority he needed to have athourity over me. The controlling went on for 6 months before he started to yell. If one thing wasnotperfectly right he would errupt. I began to get a feeling that something was wrong and i should leave but i was stuck. 2 months later he first hit me. I had balanced the checkbook and that was his job. He slapped me across the face infront of our son. The pyshical abuse went on for 5 months but it was sporatic the yelling and controlling were at an all time hight. And then he knocked me out one night. The he hit henery who was just over 2. I woke upon to see Henry knocked out. I called 911. They came arrested my ex, and took Henry and me to the hospital. I filed for divorce and got full custody of Henry. That was 10 years ago. Henry is 12, I am remarried to a marvolous man and we have a great daughter Emma who is 5 and has Down Syndrome.