How You Live

July 12th was two years since my dad passed away. That date fell right in the middle of the NDSC convention so I had plenty to do to keep my mind occupied and distracted.

July 4th, Kayla's birthday (July 15th) and the annual convention (usually in the middle of July) will always be wrapped up in the anniversary of my dad's death and funeral. Two years ago I went to convention the weekend after my dad's funeral.

So today is 2 years to the day that my dad was buried and I see this video clip of Stuart Scott's speech at the ESPYs.

It was hard to watch, but I also realized that I needed this today of all days.

I am still angry that my dad in no longer here. I'm angry that he's not here to fight cancer anymore.

But Stuart Scott reminded me of something in his acceptance speech. He reminded me that even though he's no longer here, what mattered is how my dad lived his life while battling cancer. And he did just that - he lived his life. He continued to do the things he loved to do.

And when the third treatment was obviously no more effective my dad made the choice to not try a different chemo, to not put his body through that anymore - for a chemo drug that really didn't have much success rate for pancreatic cancer. He made the choice to live how he wanted to live.

Stuart Scott reminded me of this when he said, "When you die, it does not mean you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and the manner in which you live."

My dad beat cancer in that way. He did not lose to cancer when he died, because it was on his terms - his terms to forgo chemo treatments and live whatever time he had left in the way he wanted to live. He was thankful for each and every day he had.