School started for us yesterday. Kayla is in 4th grade ... and Lucas started Kindergarten. Both of my babies are now in school full-time and attending the same school.
Lucas went to preschool the past 2 years. The first year was 3x a week for 3 hrs. Last year he was gone 4x a week for 4 hrs. So it's not like he's not familiar with the routine of a school-setting, or being away from me. I've been used to him being gone for a few hours a day, but we always had Fridays together. He's been shadow for 5 years.
A few weeks before school started it hit me that we were hurtling towards the first day of school faster than I was prepared. I wasn't ready for summer vacation to be over. Which isn't like me. Usually I can't wait to get back to a routine, for them to have some sibling space, for some of the sibling squabbling to stop. By the end of summer vacation I usually feel like they are driving me crazy and need to go back to school right.this.very.minute!
But this summer was different. We still had our moments. Our moments of everyone driving everyone crazy. Of siblings getting on each others nerves. But for the most part it was a good summer. We stayed busy. We had fun.
Maybe it was the thought of Lucas, my final baby at home, going off to school and realizing they were both going to be gone all day long that made me not quite ready to give them up to the school system.
I wanted a little more time with them at home; to enjoy them. Even though we did a lot of things this summer I found that there were still many other things I wanted to do with them, but we just ran out of summer vacation.
There was also the anxiety leading up to Kayla's IEP meeting before school started. I mostly tried to avoid thinking about it during the summer and put off her meeting for longer than I should have. If I had taken care of things earlier in the summer I wouldn't have been stressed and anxious over this meeting for the last 2 weeks of summer vacation.
There were possible decisions we were going to have to make regarding Kayla's school situation.
1) Leave her at her neighborhood school and continue advocating what we wanted for her there
2) Homeschool her
3) Online public school
4) Change schools to a private school
There were pros and cons and ramifications about each decision ... and too many choices for my indecisive mind. If I choose anything other than her neighborhood school I felt like I had to make a decision for Lucas too. In the end she is at her neighborhood school and we have our fingers crossed for a successful year.
Tomorrow Lucas rides the bus for the first time. He's been looking forward to it. And it's another reminder that he's growing up.