The Wonder of a Toddler

In my guest blog post on Parents.com Having a Child With Down Syndrome: What Nobody Tells You, I write that eight years ago I wouldn't have known that October was National Down Syndrome Awareness Month. I'm fully aware that the only reason I know this now is because I have a child with Down syndrome. I think it's safe to say, that if Kayla was born with 46 chromosomes I don't think that eight years later I would know this was Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

Because why would I? It wouldn't have impacted my life. It's not something you hear mentioned in the public. Outside of the "Down syndrome circles" does anyone talk about it? I guess it's possible, like some of you who read my blog and don't have a child with Ds, I might have still started a blog, and I might have come across a blogger who has a child with Ds, and maybe followed that blogger, and maybe I would have been aware, who knows.

I guess bit by bit the word is getting out there. All of the bloggers who are participating in 31 for 21 have readers who aren't directly impacted by having a child with Ds so they are becoming aware. Word is being spread in social media.

Then I came across the article Down Syndrome Awareness Month Opens My Eyes As a Parent. I realized it was written by a parent who doesn't have a child with Down syndrome and doesn't seem to have any connection to Ds at all ... just somehow became aware about October being DS Awareness Month.

She mentions watching video clips of the National Down Syndrome Congress We're More Alike Than Different campaign and said that they are getting their message across.

I thought, "Great!"

She went on to say that the campaign features young adults telling their stories and what she realized was that they love life. "They love their lives."

I thought, "Great!" again. I thought someone is getting the message that people with Ds are their own unique individuals with hopes and dreams and lives like everyone else.

But then. Then she said, "These earnest souls never lose the ability to be amazed; instead, they somehow retain the wonder of a toddler just discovering the world." And the bit about 'retain the wonder of a toddler' was italicized in the article. To emphasize it. To draw attention to it. To make it the main point of her opinion after watching the video.

If it wasn't italicized in the article I was going to do so in my blog post because that's the phrase I want to draw attention to as well.

In the paragraph above she mentions the videos are of young adults. Young adults telling their stories. Something about the phrase "wonder of a toddler" rubbed me the wrong way. These are young adults. The message is "more alike than different."

Yes, maybe some/most people with Down syndrome do have a more ... innocent (? Is that even the right word?) view of the world. Maybe they do have a more positive outlook? Maybe they do appreciate life more? Maybe they 'get' something that most of us don't? Maybe they know something we don't?

But they still deserve the respect of being treated like the young adults they are. They don't need to be described as having the wonder of a toddler. Maybe they just have the wonder of life. Of living life. Of loving life. Of exploring life. But not the wonder of a toddler.

I remember when Kayla was very young and frequently hearing things like "you get to enjoy her being a baby longer" and it would make me cringe. Inside I would think, "No! She is not going to be a baby longer. She's going to grow and develop at her own pace, but we will treat her as age-appropriately as we can." She might have delays, she might not be doing all the things kids her age are doing, but we are not going to baby her.

I just feel like this description patronizes these young adults into something less than what they are.

It doesn't give them credit for reaching adulthood.

It doesn't give them credit for being "the college student with dreams of singing on American Idol to the teacher's assistant who likes to dance and "get his groove on" to the exercise enthusiast ..."

I'm glad she has a new outlook on Down syndrome. She does say, "How dare I look at these families and assume their lives are more difficult than anything else? Maybe automatically "feeling sorry" for Down syndrome families is an insult of sorts. Who am I to say that their differences equal nothing but disadvantage?"

But I wish the whole message she got was that they are just people. Just people with an extra chromosome who deserve the same amount of respect.

Or am I the only one who was disappointed in the "wonder of a toddler" comparison?

ETA: Thanks for the comments so far! Appreciate your thoughts on this as well. I admit I probably was a bit overly sensitive when I read that and took offense to it! I felt it perpetuated yet another stereotype - that people with Ds are always, or will always be, 'child-like.' And by continuing to have that mentality about people w/Ds it makes it hard to make any progress with the impression society in general has on individuals with Ds.

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