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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

For the Rest of the Story...

or ... In Which I Drove Myself Crazy ... so I made the big announcement and then provided a few details, but here is the story behind when I finally decided to test.

A little history here first: When we started trying with Kayla I read the book
Taking Charge of Your Fertility and I realized there was so much I just didn't know! After reading that book I vowed to never be a chronic pregnancy test-taker! I would just chart and temp and be able to know what was going on with my cycle by that. And it worked. I could tell exactly what was happening because my temps were doing what they were "supposed" to be doing. About mid-cycle, after ovulation, my temps would increase and stay that way for about 2 weeks. Then they would start to drop as I was coming to the end of that cycle. According to the book if your temp stays high for 18 days past ovulation then you are pregnant; so I thought - wow no need to waste money on tests - I'll just watch my temp!

Ok so I had been temping and charting again. In May after my cycle started I was supposed to call the hospital and make an appointment for a hysterosalpingogram . I called and she said it has to be 10 days after the start of my cycle. That would have put the appt on Wed, May 30...umm...we were leaving for our road trip on Mon, May 28th. I was both frustrated and relieved. Relieved because I had been dreading having this procedure done and glad I could have one more month to "try again", but frustrated because we would have to wait yet another month to find out if anything was going on.

So we left for our road trip and I figured I wasn't going to bother taking my thermometer with me; I wasn't going to try and chart and temp while we were on the road. But this doesn't mean that I wasn't paying attention! I still knew exactly where I was in my cycle, what cycle day it was, and around when I should be ovulating. I don't ovulate one the same day every cycle either. Sometimes it's day 12, sometimes 14, sometimes 17 etc.

So anyway, I never knew exactly when I ovulated and I had no idea what my temps were. I knew Friday, Jun 15, was cycle day 27 and that I was probably going to start a new cycle that weekend. Sure enough, that evening before bed I noticed some spotting. That had been happening for a couple days before I actually started my cycle, so this was like clockwork, I knew what was coming. With a heavy heart I went to bed and told Joe this month was out.

Then Saturday there was no more spotting; I kept expecting it and nothing. I wondered if I should get hopeful. I briefly thought about going to buy a test and taking it the next day - Father's Day. Oh what a wonderful surprise that would be for not only Joe, for his parents since that's where we were. But I talked myself out of it. I know how I am, if it was negative I would have been so depressed and I didn't want that. Not only that, how would I have managed to buy one without anyone else knowing about it? So then not only would I have been depressed - the other 3 adults in the household would have been disappointed and I didn't want that!

Besides, Sat was only day 28 and I've had cycles as long as 32 days. I wasn't technically late. I had no reason to really suspect that I might even possibly be pregnant. I just had that bit of spotting Fri night. I scrutinized my past charts (I used an online charting website) and found a cycle where I spotted and then had nothing for several days, and then finally started. Ah ha! There was my proof that this spotting meant nothing because it had happened before!

So Sunday and I'm still waiting and nothing. I'm starting to get a teeny, tiny, bit hopeful. But it's still only day 29, not really late. And since I don't know when I actually ovulated I don't know how many days past ovulation I was. Now I was seriously regretting NOT having my thermometer with me! If I just knew how many days my temp was high I might have had reason to hope!

Monday morning we left for home. I still haven't mentioned anything to Joe about my cycle never starting. I don't like to get my own hopes high much less anyone else's. So I alternated the whole time about being hopeful and being practical.

When we got home I wanted to test so bad just so I would know. But I again talked myself out of it. Have you ever had a conversation with yourself inside your head? This is what I sounded like, "No just wait until morning. Everything says it's better/more accurate to test first thing in the mornings. Oh but I just want to know! It's day 30 now! But it's still not really late. Besides, if I just wait until Tues morning I can finally take my temp, then I'll know. If it's higher than usual on day 31 I'll have a reason to test. If it's lower than I'll know this month is out." That's the conversation I had with myself the rest of the afternoon!

Then I just could not sleep Mon night! I was so anxious to find out what my temp was! I was awake at midnight and thought about temping then, but nooooo....you can't temp at midnight -that's not after a night's sleep and it's not the usual time you temp! I was awake at 3 and tempted to temp again....nooooo....you'll wake Joe up and he'll wonder why you're temping at 3! Just wait a few more hours!

Kayla woke up around 6 and when Joe got up to go get her I took my temp. This was usual for me to take it around that time. I'm sure when Joe came back in the room he just wanted to shake his head seeing I was already back to my routine of temping! When the thermometer beeped I held my breath as I looked at the read-out. 98.9. I remember my breath catching in my throat. That is much higher than it should have been for the end of my cycle. It usually would be below 98.4.

Kayla fell back to sleep in our bed and Joe got up. I'm getting really excited and hopeful this time. Kayla woke back up around 7 and went to join Joe in the living room. Now I feel like I can't get out of bed...I'm too scared to test and find out it's negative. Finally I couldn't take it any longer.

I mentioned before when I tested with Kayla it took 4 home pregnancy tests and 2 blood tests before I could get a positive confirmation; I was afraid something like that would happen again.

So I tested and stared at the test strip. Almost immediately 2 lines showed up. I couldn't believe it. I was stunned, in disbelief. I didn't think it would show up that quickly.

I started crying and thanking God for answering my prayers. Then I pulled myself together and started thinking how I was going to surprise Joe.

I had a Father's Day gift for him at home (I didn't bring it with us on the trip). It was a gift certificate to a bike store in town. So I stuck the test strip in the envelope with the certificate.

I went out to the kitchen where Joe was making breakfast and said, "so do you want your Father's Day gift now or later?" Of course I was hoping he would say now and not make me wait! I was also trying to keep a calm, straight face, and not let on how excited I was.

Thank goodness he said, "I guess now is fine." He opened it, saw his certificate, said thanks. I said "there is something else in there." He finally saw that little strip. He looked at it, looked at me, looked at it and I think he was speechless.

I finally threw my arms around him and said "yes we're pregnant! We're pregnant!" and he said, "I thought your cycle was starting!" I said, "so did I! I really did!" and then I had to explain to him the whole saga of what I had been going through the last few days!

On Thur I went to the clinic and thankfully was able to get a blood test (they say they want you to be 2 wks late before they'll give you a blood test! Two weeks! Can you imagine having to wait 2 wks after taking a home pregnancy test?!) I had my blood drawn at 2:30. At 4:00 the phone rang and the nurse told me it was positive.

We bought a packet of white t-shirts for Kayla and some iron-on transfer sheets. I created the "Big Sister To Be" on the computer, printed it off and Joe ironed it on the shirt. Then I took "hundreds" of pictures of her trying to get her standing or sitting still so you could actually read the shirt. Once I got a shot that was "good enough" I printed off the picture. I then mailed that picture to all the grandparents and that is how they found out.

As for Kayla...well we told her I had a baby in my belly. The first time she looked at us like we must be crazy. She said in this really serious voice, "ooooooh ok" like she was humouring us. But I would tell her that every day. Now when I ask her "where is mommy's baby?" she lifts up my shirt, points to my belly button (while saying "right there") then gives it a kiss, then gives me a hug. She started that on her own (kissing my belly button). I don't think she quite understands yet, but it's sweet that she kisses my belly now!

And that, is the rest of the story!


Much More Than A Mom said...

What a great fairy tale with a happy ending!

Sue said...

I am all teary from hearing all the details. :) You know, I can SO relate to the temping and charting - I had them on-line and in excel (yes, I'm a bit crazy). I read the same book too. With Alysa, I never went back to temping, but it's sick how I knew exactly when I was ovulating each cycle w/o temping, etc. The weekend she was conceived - I told J we HAD to that night just in case it would actually work. Amazing how little we knew before, but then how well you can get to know your body.

And I also know those conversations in your head all too well. Also the keeping it from hubby so as to not get his hopes up -or look even more insane! LOL

I'm so excited for all 3 of you!!!
And yes - I'll be scrapping that photo!

Catch said...

Oh Michelle...what wonderful news! I am so happy for you and Joe and Kayla....she will be the best big sister ever! I can only imagine how excited you all are!!

I spotted when I was pregnant for Ashley...almost through the whole pregnancy.

What a great way to tell Joe! IM just so tickled for you guys!!!

Mindy said...

After all that excitement I dont see how you can wait to find out if it's a boy or girl!

Many congrats again (over and over!) cant wait to see the pictures!!

K.T. and her family of crafters. said...

Wow,how exciting!!!!!I am going to have to check out the temperature taking thing...I am a neurotic pg test taker....tired of the dissapointment!!!!

Tracey said...

Can you see me smiling over here??

I'm SO happy for you!

AZ Chapmen said...

love the story

Once Upon a Dream... said...

Oh, I love hearing all the details! I'm so excited for you guys! I know all about those conversations in your head! I have them all the time. lol

Kayla is too sweet!

Mike said...

"What are you reading, Daddy," my 4-year old asked.

"Oh, it's a story of how somebody got pregnant," I told him, referring to your post.

My 4-year old looked at me.

"I know what happened," he said.

"What happened," I asked.

"They made kissy-kissy."


Christina said...

I feel like I know so much about you now. hahaha. But i am so happy for you :-)

ChupieandJ'smama said...

Very sweet! I'm a chronic test taker (I even bought the multi pack) :D Hope you are feeling well, and not too tired!!

Tammy said...

Oh Michelle...what a wonderful story!
I am so excited for you!

I remember almost like it was yesterday, being so nervous to test with my last baby...so afraid it would be negative, and just shaking!
This brought back the memories so clearly! :)


Dori (Aviva's mommy) said...

What a great story. I to have tears in my eyes for you.

BTW...when I got pregnant with Aviva I ovulated on day 22 (right around Father's day).


killlashandra said...

That's a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing. I don't know about temping and charting but I do know about the anxiety of testing or not. I was pretty sure I conceived in October of 05 but didn't take the test until Thanksgiving. I too felt the underlying fear that it would be negative and couldn't handle that.

Michelle said...

She is going to make a great big sister! I think the T-shirt idea was so cute! I know your family had to be excited about that!

Jessica said...

What a great story!

annie said...

I loved reading this, I love answered prayers. Praise GOD!!!!
I'm so happy for you all!

Once Upon a Dream... said...

Awesome answers, Michelle!
Thank you for participating in the meme. I originally answered your comment in my comment section, but then decided that perhaps I should leave it over here on your blog.
I love learning more about you.

Australia would be great place to go, my sister has been there and liked it.

Looking forward to the answer to # 3.

Wow!!! You have been to lots of places. Steve and I are hoping to get to travel alot. We also want Olyvai to love traveling, like we do.

I'm right there with you on #5. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost Steve or Olyvia. I think my heart would completely break...

Do you have any questions?

amy said...

I dont feel bad for crying now..perhaps its because of the fertility issues we facesd.. I love this post..and I am glad you tested!!! haha

JennaG said...

Thanks for posting your "I'm Finally Pregnant" story. I know you guys are so excited--and I love reading that kind of stuff.

Shelley said...

A wonderful post. It is such an amazing thing isn't it? Such a great outcome too!

Cindy said...

I loved reading this! I'm so happy for you guys!

PEA said...

I could just feel your anticipation, nervousness, hope, etc throughout your story...how wonderful that it ended being "positive"!!! I'm just so happy for all of you...you must take sideways tummy pics once a month so we can follow your progress! hehe xox

Sandra said...

Ugh Michelle, I go away for just a week and a half and I miss THIS????

I'm SO SO thrilled for you, I'm actually crying LOL I know how much you've been wanting this so I'm super super happy for you all.

Congratulations :)


Karen said...

It's an exciting journey and thank you for sharing it with us. We must have a fun 'naming' poll. I enjoyed those parts - apart from hubby and I having very different tastes. My son is Joseph John Isaac, and my daughter Emma Jorja Bronia. I love Bronia, it's from a book I read in 1978 about a gorgeous Polish girl in WWII. I don't know anyone else with the name. Some name ideas (I'm sure you've got lots already!), Maya, Alyssa. Boys - Zach, Caleb. Are you still feeling well? When I conceived my son I was in shock, it was the one time we didn't use contraception and it was on day 8. I never, ever thought that would happen. We tried for 3 months for my daughter and I was still in shock. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter on Fathers Day - so I said to my husband "Happy Fathers Day - again!"

Trixie said...

That is so wonderful!

Anonymous said...

ah...the story I have been waiting for. What a wonderful summer it's been at your house...I'm so excited for you.

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

I am so stinkin' excited for you all! It's amazing how God created our bodies isn't it.
I loved reading all the details, it was like a conversation with a friend over coffee. You know the kind where you are thankful for a good girlfriend to talk to, because you know your husband could never really truly appreciate all the emotions, and details that went into taking the test! (At least mine wouldn't ;))


Sara said...

Man you are so much like I was...I am so happy for you both!! Hope you are having a great Summer :)

Omaha Mama said...

Okay. I'm crying.

Good for you. Congrats.

Gingers Mom said...

What a great story! I'm really happy for you! How long were you trying for? All 3 of my kids were a surprise, so I never went through the saga of having to temp or anything. In some ways that was great in others very stressful when I was late. We always wanted 3 kids, they just came sooner than expected!! LOL. Congrats!!!!!

Beck said...

That's such a wonderful story! I love pregnancy stories - yay! And Kayla is going to be such a great big sister.

Amy said...

I am wiping away my tears so I can see what I am writing! Thank you for sharing all the details~most women I know are all about the details! I can't imagine how hard it was not telling Joe. You are a strong woman Michelle!

Will keep you and the baby in my prayers. And I am so lloking forward to all the updates. Don't ever think that we bloggers don't want to know everything!! Hugs to you and Kayla. What a precious angel she is. She will be so excited to help take care of the baby I'm sure!

Anonymous said...

Oh how cute! I just love all the details that going along with pregnancy! Hope you're feeling okay today!

Linda said...

I think God's fingerprints are all over that story Michelle. It's a wonderful story.

S. said...

I am teary for you here! The best answer to prayer!

chelle said...

I was totally wrapped up in your story! Thanks so much for sharing!

Kathy/Lessons from the Laundry said...

Okay...so usually when I see long posts I skim the first couple of paragraphs and usually move on. But your story kept me riveted. It has been six years since I've had to test and temp and be anxious. It was fun to relive it with you. What a beautiful story...and aren't you glad we can find out so quick!

LeslieAnn said...

I love these stories! LOVE THEM! This is a great one, Michelle! I am a total HPT addict. You have will-power that I just don't have! I took 7 with Jack...and that was after I knew I was pregnant. It was just too cool to watch those 2 lines come up! :)

Deb said...

That is such a wonderful story!

Patti_Cake said...

Congratulations, I am here from Caroline's blog. Your little girl is adorable and I love the title of your blog.

Barb said...

This was so much fun to read Michelle. I thin I was as excited as you were, just reading it. LOL

I did all that stuff - the thermomenter, the hysterosalpingogram (ugh). Took my temperature every morning for 3 years. So I know how excited you were.

I'm thrilled for all of you. And you're so clever, to whip up that adorable big sister tee shirt so quickly!

O Mama Mia said...

Oh I'm so excited for you! I know exactly how the conversation/ argument in your head went... I do it monthly! ;) Many congratulations, hun! Can't wait to start seeing belly shots!

Anonymous said...

I'm just so excited for you!!You and Joe are just such wonderful people who really deserve all the happiness life can give you. You both are such wonderful people.You have the most loving and very beautiful little girl. I know she'll be the best big sister ever!that is just so cute how she kisses your belly.She is a very sweet little girl.
I don't see how you can wait for to find out boy or girl. I had to know. I hate to wait but you know that. It also makes it easier.You can buy clothes alot earlier.
Congrats again!!

Sue "Sioux" Seibert said...

I love the rest of the story...don't think you could have stood living in the '60's when we waited sometimes 3 months and h

Love to all 4 of you!!

A Special Family said...

i thought I saw that t-shirt and then though I need to scroll down and figure this out.
Michelle, I have tears streaming down my face. What wonderful news, I am beyond happy for you all!!


Jennisa said...

I am so happy for you! I loved reading your story, and sooooo glad the test came out positive! Those of us who have struggled with infertility know what a blessing this really is...

Cate said...

That is a great story.

And I've definitely had those conversations inside my own head too.

Congratulations again!

California mom said...

What a great story. Congratulations!!! I'm visiting from Omaha Mama's blog. Kayla is a beautiful girl.