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Monday, April 16, 2007

Planned or Surprised?

Over at http://alittlemommytalk.com this week's question is whether your child(ren) were planned or a surprise.

My answer is Kayla was a planned surprise! We had been trying for a baby for 13 months, so we were definitely planning on having one. It was a surprise when the pregnancy test finally showed up with the faintest of faint lines. So faint that I would squint to look at it and then convince myself it wasn't there. I finally showed Joe that evening and he swore he could see a light line right away.

Actually since I'm on this topic...I wasn't planning on announcing this to the "whole world" but yes we have been trying for another baby. We would love nothing more than to add to our family and give Kayla a sibling. Unfortunately we've been trying, yet again, for over a year. 15 months to be exact. I'm becoming very discouraged that it's taking so long again. I guess we should have started when Kayla was a year old. I didn't want to start that early, because I figured surely it wouldn't take us over a year again. If we think like that and we start when she's 1 then we would probably get pregnant on the first try and I wouldn't be ready for a second child yet! Yeah so I decided we could wait another year, and now another year has passed. I really had wanted Kayla to have a sibling only a couple years apart, not 5 or 6.

I just wish trying to conceive didn't have to be so frustrating at times. I think what makes it frustrating is "they" (medical community) make you wait a full year before you can even begin any testing to find out why. A full year is such a long time when you're trying to conceive. What if it was something simple as I have a blocked tube and it can be fixed, and could have been fixed months ago? But nooooo..you have to be trying for a year.

Then you have to get an appointment with your primary care manager, who puts in a referral. Except your referral is reviewed at the women's clinic and the dr there says she needs to see you first before sending you downtown (why didn't they send me there first instead of seeing my PCM?). Then you have to wait some more until you're at certain points of your cycle to have certain blood work, or testing done.

It's all a waiting game. Waiting for your cycle, waiting to ovulate, waiting those 2 weeks to see if this month, this month, could really be it, and then no. There goes another month. Waiting, waiting, waiting again.

Sorry, I didn't mean to get off on a tangent like this - as you can tell I'm just very frustrated.

So I decided to finally post about it because I need to ask for prayers. I believe in the power of prayer. So if you could spare a prayer for God to bless us with another baby, I would really appreciate it.

46 comments:

Jessica said...

Sending lots of prayers your way!!!

Melany aka Supermom said...

I have been waiting for you to announce that you are pregnant...don't know why. Maybe it's a good sign? Lots of hugs and prayers

Jennisa said...

The same thing happened with me with Liv, our second child. I was in the same boat you are in, and no one can tell you "oh, it'll happen when it's supposed to"...SHUT UP, right? The one thing that my fertility man reccommends all couples take, is a vitamin/pill called FERTILITY BLEND. It's at most GNC stores, but I got mine on ebay. If you want any more info, or need to chat about this email me... jennisajoy@juno.com

JennaG said...

I can completely relate. I had the hardest time getting pregnant--the second time around. It was months of trying and being disappointed. I was blessed that our base has off-base OB care and I didn't have to do all that waiting. I never had any testing either--he just gave me clo*mid and I was pregnant within 4 months. I will be praying for God's perfect timing with your next pregnancy!

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

Oh Michelle, I will surely send many prayers for you. What a wonderful family you have, what a blessed baby he/she will be. I will pray, pray, pray.

-Andrea

Beck said...

Oh my goodness. I hope that this IS the month!

ChupieandJ'smama said...

Prayers going are going out for you! Kayla will make a great big sister and we already know what wonderful parents you and Joe are :)

LauraJ said...

I bless and pray that you have many babies!!
{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

Barb said...

I know how frustrating this whole thing is because I went through it, too. Having to try for a year, especially when it took more than a year to get pregnant the first time, seems ridiculous to me.

Take comfort in two things. #1, Kayla will be a wonderful big sister no matter when her new baby brother or sister arrives, and #2, I'm praying for you.

K.T. said...

Trying here too.I will be praying for you!!!(Sorry I havent visited the blog much,it kept on saying page not found...but I found you!!)

Trace said...

You have all of mine!! :) I hope the waiting game ends soon and you are blessed with what you want. :)

Amy said...

Michelle! Yes, I will definitely be praying for another little miracle. It is hard to be patient I'm sure. And it's easy for me to say but it's true~God's timing is perfect. Kayla will be a wonderful big sister!

Still enjoying my book! But now I read it sitting on my bed at night. Thought you might be glad to know that ;o)

S. said...

Praying for you here! I can only imagine how discouraging this is for you. Kayla will definately be a great big sister when it happens!

Julie said...

Michelle,
I found your blog through Annie (mylifeasannie) and have been wanting to email you and say Hi.
I understand your frustration. We tried for 2 years for our 3rd child. All of the tests showed nothing "wrong" with myself or my husband. That was frustrating in itself.
Finally, after adopting twin boys, we got pregnant...a month later. We went from 2 children to 5 children in 10 months. Now we are expecting our 7th any day.
There is hope! :) Don't give up. You never know what God has in store for your family. I know how awful it is to wait...and wait...and wait...
I will be praying that God blesses you with another baby very soon.

jennifergg said...

Oh watch out what you wish for...that's how we got twins!
I'll keep a good thought for you, I can't think of a luckier baby than the one who'll join your family. Hang in there!

Linda said...

Okay - I'm adding your name to my new prayer request notebook I started yesterday. There is so much going on in our little "world" I couldn't keep it all in my little brain. So you're on there - and I'm praying.

annie said...

I'm praying for another blessing for you Michelle!
Our kids just sorta popped up every four years.

Sara said...

Nathaniel was planned and it took us a yr to conceive too, with the help of the fertility clinic. I know how you are feeling, I went through it month after month..Unfortunatly we were able to conceive when nathaniel was just over a yr but i miscarried at 12 weeks and we were not able to conceive again.. something I am sorry for as I wanted a sibling for Nathaniel as well,Anyway, lots of prayers for you and Joe ( and Kayla) as you embark on another try. BIG hugs too!!!

Cathy said...

You got it! I know how maddening the process can be. We were charting my temperatures, using ovulation predictor kits, etc. when trying for Lauren (I am a bit of a psycho when I make up my mind about wanting something- it took us 4 or 5 months to conceive her). The waiting is very hard though, I know. Hang in there!

Shelley said...

Oh absolutely - heaps of prayers going your way - not only are you a great Mum but Kayla would make a fabulous big sister. Here's hoping it happens soon ...

Tracey said...

Ah, Michelle... I don't know the pain of unexplained infertility, but I can sympathize and pray my little heart out for you. Best wishes... May you see those beautiful lines soon...

Tammy said...

Michelle, I'll be praying. I can imagine how frustrating it is. One of my husband's brothers and his wife are struggling with infertility...no children at all and their tests conclude simply "low fertility" for each of them. So in their case, not impossible, just difficult. But they are trying to trust the Lord's timing. Still...I can just imagine the frustration at waiting!

So...I am definitely adding you to my prayer list, Michelle!
(((HUGS)))

Miranda said...

I thought you were going to say you were pregnant :) I'm sending baby growing vibes your way!!

Much More Than A Mom said...

I've kept you in my prayers since you told me - and you're still there!

chelle said...

Waiting is so the hardest part. I struggled every month my period came! I am sending tons and tons of positive baby vibes ... When the timing is right it will happen ... Hugs!

andria said...

Getting the second was harder for us than the first. I know how you feel. I will pray for you.

Omaha Mama said...

I'm sorry for your frustration, I really am. I know that God knows why and you will see the reason eventually I'll bet. When it happens, it will be perfect. Thanks for such an honest, emotional post. I will pray for you tonight. I hope that all goes well as you continue trying to have that baby.

On a lighter note. I got my book! What a fun surprise in the mail - thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm going to a state conference on autism at the end of the week and now have something to read in the car on the way there. So thanks!

Paulette said...

Hey Hey,
Cool post because I have always wondered if yall would have another baby!! I will SO pray for you and I know God will give you the desire of your Hearts! Woo hoo this is so cool and I am glad you asked for prayer because now you might get triplets!! LoL that would be cool huh?
Blessings Michelle and give sweet Kayla a hug for me.

PEA said...

Oh Michelle, I can understand how frustrated you and Joe must feel and I know that a year is a long time to wait when you're trying to conceive but when it's meant to happen it will:-) My prayers are with you my friend!! xox

Nisa said...

I am praying for you and Joe and Kayla. I love you guys!

L. Noelle said...

It will happen, It will happen! Lots of Vitamins, I agree with what Jennisa said. Fertility Blend or another brand that helps with conecption, can really make a difference. Sometimes it can be as simple as a few vitamin deficiencies. I will be sending my best wishes to you!

Christina said...

Wishing you luck! It will happen, I am sure :-)

Anonymous said...

I'll be praying for you both. I know Kayla would make such a wonderful big sister!
Love ya lots!
mimi

Eagles Wings said...

Praying for you , I know the frustration!

~Melissa~ said...

Oh Michelle - I'm sorry that it has been such a struggle for you, how frustrating that must be. You are in my prayers and I hope that this is the month for you!

Anonymous said...

I've been expecting an 'I'M PREGNANT' blog post from you for some time!!! Good luck TTC!!!

Rachael & Anna

Sandra said...

Michelle, my prayers are going out to you.

I have to tell you, when Jasmine was 2 years old we started trying for another baby, we tried for over a year and NOTHING...I was so upset and so discouraged and the more stressed I became the less pregnant I got LOL

I finally stopped worrying about it and started doing the ovulation counting thing, within the first month I was pregnant. LOL

I'm sure it will happen for you, just stop worrying and stressing about it, it will happen :)

Hugs,
Sandra

laglover said...

Michelle, I sent you an email...I'm not sure if you got it or not? I hope I have the right address...

Deb said...

You're in my prayers.

Hugs

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

tons of prayers coming your way. It took us over 20 months to conceive Chloe. I always wanted my kids 2 years apart but we're finding that 3.5 years isn't bad. Still.. it's not like I was given a choice.

I understand and send you tons of sticky baby dust!

Carrie! :o) said...

Many prayers coming your way. I know exactly how frustrating the military health care is. This pregnancy if high risk for me and getting those needed referrals are a pain! I'm seen off base but that whole *gotta wait and see the PCM first* thing needs to be revamped! (((HUGS)))

The Queen Of Cute Shoes said...

Oh hun, I am so sorry! I totally know how you feel. I am in that same row boat with you. You feel like you are in a boat and you are trying to row to land but the wind is blowing you out to see. Gosh it's hard. I've been trying for 22 months now with no luck. Luckily we're doing infertility treatments now, so hopefully you will be able to conceive soon and you won't have to worry about it anymore. I will pray for you hun!

SiouxSue said...

Hi, Hon. I know it is frustrating, but all in God's time and with God's will. My prayers are with you. Bless you all.

Karen said...

I will be praying for you too :-)

Beth said...

You absolutely have my prayers!

The Barkers said...

Baby Jonas wasn't planned, but so welcomed! My sister had trouble conceiving her second child. It took over a year. She wanted her kids 2 years apart, but 3 worked out really well. The second had many difficulties right after birth and it helped tremendously having an independent 3 year old around to help. We don't know God's way, but He promises us it is PERFECT. Hang in there and I will pray for you.