Memorable Moment

A long time ago (ok back in January!) Pastor Mac's Ann tagged me for a "Most Memorable Moment In My Life" meme and this is me, finally getting around to it! It is hard to pick one because let's face it - we all have plenty of memorable moments throughout our lives.

The most memorable moment I decided to write about was Kayla's birth story! I have a feeling this might get kind of long, so grab a drink and read it when you have a few minutes! This is all about the actual birth, to read about my feelings upon getting Kayla's diagnosis you'll have to read this post.

I think I read every pregnancy book out there; ok not that many, but I did read everything I could and tried to prepare myself as best I could for what to expect, what to bring, how labor would go, things I would try etc. Funny thing about labor and delivery is you can be as prepared as you'll ever be and things still won't happen the way you think. It's just so unpredictable!

When I packed my bag I had camera, video camera, books/magazines, lotion, back massager, Therma-care heating pad, swim trunks for Joe (they don't have a birthing tub at this hospital, but an extra large shower stall where they said some women are comfortable in the water and your partner can get in with you - I was anticipating needing this). I contemplated buying an exercise ball so I would have that as well. The hospital had a few birthing balls, but I was worried they would all be in use when I might need one! In the end I didn't buy one though.

We went to the birthing classes at the hospital and I tried to remember everything that was taught. A couple times Joe and I actually practiced going in to labor and timing the contractions (because the book said to do this!) He timed the "contractions" while I practiced breathing and he talked me through each one. We couldn't get through these few practice trials without laughing and being serious though!

I read all about early stages of labor and what it felt like, what to look for, how you'll know etc. Over the weekend of July 12-13 we finally finished the nursery (I was due on the 23rd!) and I packed my hospital bag. On the 14th I wrote in my pregnancy diary, "Last night I had some crampy-type feelings. I don't think they were BH contractions because it felt different, but it wasn't in any pattern either - just off and on. I have a dr appt tomorrow and I'll find out if I'm any more dilated."

Monday was the 14th and I was at work with these "crampy-type" feelings all day, just off and on. I was standing in front of a coworkers desk just rubbing my stomach and feeling tired when she asked if I was ok. "Yeah, just some cramps." (hello! contractions! or at least the very beginnings of contractions getting my body ready for labor.) My supervisor was leaving the next day on a business trip for a few days. Before he left at the end of that day he stopped by and said to me, "Now there isn't going to be a baby before I get back is there?" I replied, "I don't think so, but I can't promise anything!" (When I looked back on that I thought it was so funny he asked me that because Kayla was born the next day!).

Monday night I didn't sleep well at all, tossed-turned, experienced more "cramps", was uncomfortable, kept going to the bathroom, and finally the alarm went off around 5. I got up and was eating breakfast but I just didn't feel well at all and my stomach kept hurting with cramps! I called in to work and left a message basically saying I didn't feel good, but if I felt better later that morning I would try and come in.

I sat in our glider with a heating pad and an afghan wrapped around me. On the end table was the baby name book. I decided to flip through the boy's section again. We had Ethan Tyler picked out but I wasn't completely decided and I wanted to be prepared in case we did have a boy. (No we didn't know the gender). I felt so drowsy and just couldn't keep my eyes open. I finally gave in and slept off and on.

I finally admitted to myself these were contractions and I better start timing them! I started timing them at 927 and timed until 1123. ( They fluctuated from 18 minutes to 9 minutes.) I think Joe must have called then to see how I was doing. I told him I was miserable and that I thought this was it. By that time I was back on our bed trying different positions to get more comfortable - laying on the pillows, kneeling over pillows etc. Joe told me to get up and walk around (because that's what we learned in child birth class you know!) I told him I didn't feel like it! He came home from lunch, helped me get out of bed and walked me around our house with me moaning and groaning the whole time and complaining that I didn't want to walk, I just wanted to lay down in bed! I knew he was only trying to help and do what we thought we should be doing to help with labor, so I let him have a few minutes of walking then I went back to bed.

Joe had a meeting at 2:30 and asked if I was going to be ok or if I needed him to stay home with me. I didn't think we were anywhere near ready to go to the hospital so I told him to go on back to work. (At one of my OB appts the doctor asked me if I knew when it would be time to go to the hospital and I answered "when the contractions are 10-15 min apart?" He told me no because a lot of times the contractions will stop, or get further apart and that is too soon and they end up sending the mom home, especially first time moms. He told me not until the contractions were 2-5 minutes apart. I have no idea how true this is, or if I should have gone in sooner, but I listened to what he said.) So I was anticipating hours more of these contractions, and that I would probably be in labor for another 12 hrs or so, because I was a first-time mom you know and they have longer labors.

After Joe left I decided to get in the bathtub because I read/heard being in the water helps with contractions. At that point I just couldn't relax enough in the tub, it felt like the contractions were coming much closer together and much stronger. I thought I should start timing them again. I timed from 1:16 to 2:03 just to make sure they were consistent. They were. Consistently 2-5 minutes apart with one 7-minute thrown in there for good measure. This is when I started to worry. I called Joe thinking I would catch him before he left for his appt; no such luck. His coworker asked if I wanted the # where he was at and through a contraction I said "mmmhmm" but then he asked if I wanted him to call Joe for me, again, "mmhmm". Within minutes Joe called me back and I told him, "I think it's time to go to the hospital, the contraction are now 2-5 min apart." "I'll be right there." was his response and he was gone.

From the time I got out of the tub and was timing the contractions I was in the bathroom on the floor hunched over the toilet (with the lid down!) I just felt better in a hunched over position like that and didn't want to move. That's how Joe found me when he got home, and he seemed kind of hurried and frantic...gee I wonder why! He asked if I called the OB yet (no, can you do it for me?) He got them on the phone and they told him to just go on up to the hospital. He asked if I wanted him to call my mom and I said ok. Her and my sister were at my aunt's house because they were planning on flying in the next day (or maybe it was the day after). Either way he called and when my aunt answered he said, "This is Joe is Donna there?" in a hurried voice. My aunt was confused. She was thinking who is this strange guy calling Donna at my house?" She asked, "Who is this?" He said, "Joe, Michelle's husband." Then I heard my aunt loud and clear "Oh my gosh is Michelle in labor?! Donna! Michelle's in labor!" Joe said we were going to the hospital now. Afterwards I found out they were in chaos mode too...running around throwing clothes in a suitcase so they could all beat feet to the airport and pray they could get on a standby flight. Then Joe called his mom and got her voice mail so he left a message.

This whole time I'm still in the bathroom and he's trying to get me up and out to the car. I kept making excuses and telling him to go put the bag in the car first, don't forget my body pillow, make sure you bring this, rub my back through this contraction, no just one more please. I even told him to just call an ambulance to take me to the hospital because I didn't think I could make it there driving in the car. The thought of having to sit up front in the passenger seat and endure these contractions was not a pleasant one. I told Joe, "I don't think I'm going to be able to go through the rest of this labor without anything, I'm going to need an epidural when we get to the hospital." (I was going to try and deliver naturally.)

Then. Oh my. I felt a huge amount of pressure and told Joe, "I think I feel the head!" He told me "it's not the head, but come on let's get to the hospital!" I felt panicked, really thinking I could feel the head coming out so I told him, "no you have to check! Please see if you can see the head!" So he very quickly looked, said there was no head and let's get going now! (Later Joe told me when I said I thought I felt the head he could feel the blood just drain from his face.) So I finally got myself out to the car and semi-laid down on my pillow and suitcase in the back seat. Joe drove with one hand and had the other hand reached back between the seats for me to hold on to during the contractions. He kept talking to me, trying to keep me calm, I I just kept squeezing his hand and concentrated on the sound of his voice. After 3 contractions he told me we were halfway there so I should have 3 more and we would be there.

We arrived in the parking lot and when I got out of the car I told him to leave everything there and let's just get in and get me settled in the room then he could come out later and get my stuff.

We got to the front desk about 3:00. They weren't expecting us (we thought the OB's office would have called) so Joe had to do all the explaining for me (I just didn't feel like I had the energy to talk). One nurse brought us into the delivery room and told me to go change in to the gown. Joe and I went to the bathroom and all I wanted to do was stand there and rock back and forth on my feet and not move. Then I lost my mucous plug which Joe let the nurse know. She said, "well just don't push." I didn't feel like I had to push until she said that! I finally changed and then she wanted me to lay down on the bed. I said I couldn't, it was too uncomfortable and all I wanted to do was stand. I couldn't handle the contractions laying down on my back. She told me we just need to check the baby's heart beat and after that you can get up and walk around. At this point it was only her in the room and she didn't seem to be in any hurry with me.

I finally gave in and laid down, another nurse came in and they were doing their thing. Got the monitors on, were getting my information for the wrist bracelets etc. Then someone checked me. All heck broke loose. "She's complete and I've got a bulging sac of waters! Get Cindy over here NOW!" (Cindy was the midwife at the OB office who was on-call that day.) As soon as that happened I heard a pop and a gush...there went the bulging sac of waters! After that everything happened so fast and there seemed to be so many people in the room. (I don't think they were expecting me to be that far along...neither was I!).

I looked at Joe and said, "I guess it's too late to ask for anything now." and I managed a weak smile.

In minutes Cindy was there and then they were telling me whenever I felt my next contraction I could push. She told me to put my hands here, bring my legs up, sit half-way up, take a deep breath, tuck my chin in, and push for a count of 10. I said "ok" and then "what do I do again?"

All of a sudden I felt calm and peaceful and I was waiting for the next contraction which I didn't feel happening. It felt like they stopped all of a sudden. That worried me. I didn't want to get that far only to have labor stop! I think I just finally let my body relax and that's why I didn't feel it. At the time I didn't want them to think that labor had stopped so I pretended I felt the urge to push and just pushed. And pushed. And pushed.

At some point Joe's mom called the front desk. The nurse came in to the room saying "the father's mother is on the phone." I think everyone just kind of looked at her. One of the nurses in the room said, "well he's a little busy and can't talk now!" (I found out later my MIL just wanted to ask the nurse about how close we were to delivering. She said "It's going to take us about 8 hrs to get there - will there be a baby before then?")

Finally someone called out they could see the head. Then when I stopped pushing I felt the head slide back in. This happened a few times. I would push, "there's the head!" and the head would disappear. (I remember from child birth class the instructor said it was like taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back because the head would make progress, then go back in the canal). After the 3rd or 4th time of someone saying they saw the head I said, "but it keeps going back in!" On the next push right before I stopped pushing I tightened my muscles and "held" the head there while I took another breath to push (thank goodness for Kegel exercises!) -I was not letting that head go back again! Joe said he even noticed that time the head didn't go back in. Then once the head finally came out I was expecting the rest of the body to just come sliding out next with minimal effort - that's how it seemed it always happened on the birth day shows on TLC! I think Kayla's shoulder was stuck though. I was pushing, but half-heartedly and Joe said Cindy was really trying to work the shoulder out. She finally told me she needed me to give her one big push and then, then I felt my baby's body come sliding out. I immediately sat up to see if we had a boy or a girl. At the same time I looked down Joe said, "we have a girl!"

She was born at 3:45...about 45 minutes after we got to the hospital. That's how close we came to delivering at home! Funny thing is I had an OB appt that day at 3:50.

And we had no camera. Remember when we arrived I had left everything in the car thinking Joe would have time to go get it later? I was so bummed thinking of all those "first" pictures we were going to miss.

2 of my pregnant friends also had OB appts that day around the same time, they couldn't believe it when they found out I had already delivered. They were able to stop by, as did Joe's commander's wife, all before I even was showered and out of the delivery room.

My mom, aunt, and sister were able to get on a flight. While they were waiting they had something to eat. They were 2 hrs ahead of us. About 5:45 my mom said "oh my stomach doesn't feel good at all." 5:45 was 3:45 our time. I was just giving birth.

After I called my dad with the news that he was a grandfather I called my mom's parents since I knew I wouldn't be able to get a hold of my mom. My grandparents then called my uncle (my aunt's husband who is a retired Delta airlines pilot). My uncle was able to get a message to the captain on their flight. They handed a note to my aunt which read, "Please pass to Debbie XXX wife of DAL Capt in seat1D that her niece gave birth to baby girl and all is well." My aunt went back to my mom's seat and handed her the note. She and Kelly read it and tried to contain their excitement when all they wanted to do was scream. My mom said all along she just knew I was going to have a girl.

Friends of ours went to the airport to pick them up and I think they arrived around 10ish. Joe's parents had a flat tire on the way and arrived close to midnight. I was surprised everyone was allowed in since it was well past visiting hours at the hospital...but I don't think there would have been anyway nurses would have been able to keep our families from seeing Kayla that day/night!

And about being prepared? Joe didn't get to use his swim trunks, I didn't get to use the heating pad or massager or lotion. Best laid plans huh?

I told you it was long, but there is one of my most memorable moments ever.