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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

MOMSense

Members of MOPS receive a magazine called MOMSense. In this latest issue there is an article called Potty Talk written by Shannon Popkin.

I read most of this aloud to Joe and we both were laughing so hard just imagining the embarrassment this mom felt! I had tears I was laughing so hard.

This was just too funny not to share:

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.

People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:

"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"

At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full Â… 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh Â… Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!"

"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to gag at this point. "Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!" As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.

"Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?" More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.

"Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy." He started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!"
I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling. As I sheepishly opened the door, and found an open sink, I thought, Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my privacy?


But as my little herald gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.

Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with her family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she no longer uses public restrooms.Copyright © 2007 by the author or Christianity Today International/MOMSense magazine.

Thank goodness Kayla hasn't done anything to embarrassing like that ... yet! She has done something that has made me chuckle though.

When we first started putting Kayla on the potty chair, and she actually peed, I wanted to make a big deal out of it. Wanted to get her excited so hopefully she would want to go again. So the first several times that Kayla would go I would clap enthusiastically while saying "yay! Kayla you went pee pee on the potty!" and she would clap and say, "yay pee pee!" We still do this, although not every single time as it has lost it's effect by now! (oh and don't let me forget the song I sang to her after she would go too!)

So Kayla thinks everyone should be praised for going pee pee in the potty. She claps for us "yay Mommy pee pee!" "yay Daddy pee pee!" and there was the time Eunice was visiting us. Kayla noticed Eunice left the room and ran down the hall looking for her. She saw the bathroom light on, got down on the floor trying to get her attention, and as soon as Eunice started going there went Kayla clapping, "yay pee pee!" I had to tell Eunice sorry for the audience!

There have been a couple occasions I took Kayla to a public bathroom. As she's sitting there waiting/trying to go someone else would come in to a stall. Once Kayla would hear them go out would come the "yay pee pee" followed by much clapping.

It was hard for me suppress a giggle as I wonder what those other ladies thought!

32 comments:

Momo said...

When I change David's diaper I usually talk to him and explain what I am doing..."and now I'm going to clean your little testicles- in my mother tongue there is a more familiar word to describe -" ...so few days ago in the parc he asked me loud: you need to clean my testicles!

Amy said...

Oh Michelle, I so needed that! I have been laughing so hard I have tears running down my face!! I'm going to read it again later and I'm sure it will be just as funny then too!

Dori (Aviva's mommy) said...

That is hysterical...We all were in stiches. The one embarrassing thing Aviva did was we were in Target and we were looking for bras for me and very loudly Aviva said...Mommy I want big BOOBIES like you...and that gave a few people a good laugh. I said no Aviva you do not want that...YES MOMMY I WANT BIG BOOBIES...and we left that section!

Rikki said...

Oh, this is so funny, tears are running down my cheeks. Absolutely hilarious. Let's hope it will never happen to us.

Grandma said...

Now that was one very funny story. I would have wanted the earth to just open up and swallow me !!LOL!!

That's my granddaughter making sure everyone gets a big "Good Job" when they go potty :-)

ChupieandJ'smama said...

OH MY! I would have been so red faced. That was a funny story.

Beck said...

What's funny to me is how thick-skinned we get after we become mothers - pre-motherhood, that would have been unbearably mortifying. Post-motherhood? Funny anecdote!

Linda said...

Thanks for making me smile. What a cute story. In fact, both stories are downright adorable. Oh to be so innocent and uninhibited!!

K.T. said...

Oh my that had me laughing hysterically too~~~

Jessica said...

I have tears going down my face I'm laughing so hard! Oh, I needed that! How funny!

amy flege said...

I cant stop laughing. that is sooo darn funny!!!! thanks for making my day! oh and way to go kayla!!!

Tracey said...

Good Lord, I'm crying over here!! Those are both a stitch!

When Justin was about 3 or so, my sister took him into the bathroom at Marshall Field's while I nursed my baby. Well. He declared, at the top of his lungs "Auntie, you got a big TUSHY!!" Nice. Sweet.

shaz said...

hi, I am visiting via pastormacAnn's blog, and I will have to come back to read later, but I just wanted to say WOW! they are AMAZING eyes!!! :)

Sara said...

Oh my gosh that was the funniest thing I have ever read!!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing :) And Kayla, you are a cutie-patootie :)

Anonymous said...

Way too funny!
Mrs. Mac

Tammy said...

Oh, you are right...I was sitting at the computer laughing harder than I have in a long time at that woman's story! My family had to come in here and check to make sure I was alright!
That is hysterical!

I can just picture your little cutie clapping for everyone's potty! Too funny, Michelle!

Thanks for sharing this and giving me such a great laugh!

Trace said...

That was hilarious.. haha. :) I am still laughing!

Nisa said...

Pee Pee in the Potty!! Pee Pee in the Potty!! Pee Pee in the Potty... YAY!!!!!
I still remember the song and how sweet she was trying to cheer me on from under the door. I love you, Kayla!!
Oh yeah, that was a hilarious story and I'm so thankful I don't have any stories as embarrassing as that one with the stinkies. Hahahahaha!!!
love you.

Cheryl Wray said...

OMG, that is hilarious!! I love it! Gave me some out-loud laughs!!!

chelle said...

hehe my daughter totally talks the whole time while in the potty, public or private! I just giggle and whisper that not everyone wants to hear our commentary .... Most woman are really cool with it! One lady snapped at her for talking about "privates" ...!

Pamela said...

Michelle, this was hilarious! I had tears of laughter running down my cheeks.

That is so funny what Kayla did with Eunice too, and in the public restroom! lol I often get a chuckle out of what little one's say or do. We have all been there at one time or another. I can remember putting my hand over my child's mouth and giggling a time or two. lol

Christina said...

That is really funny. I was laughing loud reading it! Good one to start the day with :-)

jotcr2 said...

That was hilarious. A very funny read. Sheena is only at that Dada Nana Muma stage. More to come I am sure.

mum2brady said...

hee hee hee! Love it! And - whoo hooo for Kayla going pee pee on the potty :)

singinole said...

that was so funny! thanks for sharing! sometimes i wonder if i really want to sign up for all that goes along with motherhood ;)

smileymamaT said...

OH, nearly dropped my coffee cup from laughing!! I've been there, oh my gosh, it makes me smile to remember...just recently we had an outdoor shouting match, not in anger, but due to a baby squirrel (it's on one of my first posts called Wierdo the Baby Chipmunk I think), where basically our cat brought a dead squirrel, the kids found a baby squirrel, and then saw the adult was a male ..which resulted in me driving off late to work with the kids yelling to me, "It's not the Mom, it's the Dad!!" and me yelling back, from the road, "Put the baby back in the tree!!!"...if only we know what the neighbors were thinking, ha...

Anonymous said...

Oh my word!!! That's SO funny!!!! lol
Melany aka Supermom

Overwhelmed! said...

Oh, that article just cracked me up!!! Snuggle Bug isn't cooperating with my potty training efforts so I haven't had the pleasure of such an embarrassing experience such as the one in the article (thank goodness)! I'm sure my time will come.

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

When Chloe was a newborn we were having supper at McDonalds during peak time and Chloe started crying. My then 3.5year old Sarah yelled out: "Just give her the boob Mom!"

Gotta love em!

PEA said...

Omigosh, that was just too funny! I would have completely died of embarassment! lol What we mothers go through! hehe Loved it!!

Alice said...

Thank you for that post! Brilliant - puts all my potty training disasters into perspective. Your daughter is absolutely gorgeous by the way. Love the photos!

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thinks its ridiculous that she is letting her child watch her poop in the toilet?