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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Is she serious?

"The DS people on XXXXXX are by and large fanatics, I avoid them at all costs, although they come looking for us alot on this board. Sonetime I think of going and looking for them on their board to tell them how very selfish I find them. I think it's wrong to bring a child into this world knowing you will be causing them pain. Knowing they will always be a burden on society. Knowing that it is not my burden alone, that their life will cost money and time to society as a whole. Knowing they will spend days or weeks or months in NICU. "

Excuse me?! I'm SELFISH for choosing LIFE? For giving birth to the child my husband and I created?

Granted we didn't know for sure she had T21 while I was pregnant, but we knew there was a chance. We declined the amnio because it wouldn't have changed the outcome anyway, she was who she was and she was to be born to us.

What about all the prisoners? If there were some prenatal testing that could tell you your child would end up in jail wouldn't it be better to terminate your pregnancy instead of allowing this child to grow up, commit crimes and then spend time in jail - isn't that a burden to society? What about all the things you can't diagnosis prenatally? Autism, ADHD, ADD, OCD, Tourette's, cancer etc. Those individuals need some help throughout life to deal with their diagnosis - are they considered burdens to society then? and if so shouldn't we start coming up with tests to find out prenatally so they can be terminated too? What about the elderly? My goodness how many have to live in a nursing home? Isn't that a burden? Shouldn't we find out beforehand who is going to require that kind of care so we can terminate? What about Christopher Reeve? He ended up paralyzed and his wife had to take care of him - do you think if she knew this were to happen to him she would have not married him? Better yet - if his mom knew while she was pregnant with him that this would happen shouldn't she have terminated to avoid the burden he placed on everyone caring for him?

Maybe my examples seem a little absurd - but that's how absurd it seems to me to justify tx for a prenatal diagnosis of T21. No I don't know what the future holds for my daughter, all I know is we will raise her to the best of her abilities and hope that means she can be self-sufficient and live on her own, but if not then that's ok too. The point is you don't know what's going to happen to anyone's life. Your child could be born perfectly fine and later have an accident that causes brain damage or something - any one person can end up needing support from their community - this doesn't mean they are burdens and don't deserve to live. And my daughter most certainly isn't in any pain and never spent one second of her life in NICU. It just amazes me the thought process and ignorance of some people.

1 comment:

Nea said...

Some people just aren't emotionally equipped to handle anything but a perfectly "normal" child. My husband is one of those, he insisted when I had my last two kids that I have an amio. It was an easy decision for him, if something had been wrong, we would abort. It wasn't that easy for me........I hoped and prayed that I wouldn't have to make that decision. I didn't......but if I had, not sure I could have. I asked him the same question, so what would you do, if one of our kids had an accident and should be injured, would you just want them dead? I suppose he would leave me. Your daughter is a beautiful little girl, and looks to be very loved and very intelligent. Some DS children are not, I have two cousins who were DS and one never left her crib, it was tragic. It just isn't that easy a question for some people.