When You're Sleep Deprived

The other night I had one of those nights where it seemed like it was one thing after another disrupting my sleep.

It started at 3:00am with Lucas waking me up. "I can't sleep. I keep coughing."

I groggily pulled myself out of bed, gave him some water and cough medicine, brought him back upstairs and tucked him in to bed.

The disturbance woke Joe up, so he got up to go to the bathroom. And I thought to myself, "Well if you were going to get up anyway you could have taken him back upstairs and I could have just stayed in bed."

We both crawled back in to bed and immediately fell back to sleep ... well, ideally that is how it's supposed to go, right? Joe fell right back to sleep - as he always does. I tossed and turned and tried to fall back to sleep.

I quietly cussed him out in my head and the fact that he can just put his head on the pillow and fall back to sleep with no problems. My brain wouldn't shut off enough to go back to sleep.

And then I was almost there ... almost asleep ... when out of nowhere said brain just happened to remember the kids booster/car seats were in Joe's truck. I would need them the next day because I had to pick them up from school and go to Kayla's vision therapy.

I tried telling myself that I would just have to remember to mention that to Joe in the morning and get them before he left for work. But after debating that issue for several minutes I knew I wouldn't remember that at 6:00 in the morning.

Never mind the fact that I was planning on going to step aerobics at the base gym and I could just pick up the seats from him afterwards.

But then what if I didn't go to step class after all? This is the back and forth that goes on in my brain. So at 3:30 I made myself get out of bed and fumble in the kitchen for pen and paper to leave a note about the car seats.

Went back to bed and eventually fell back to sleep. At some point I became vaguely aware that Joe got up to get ready for work. He usually gets up at 5:00 - an hour before the kids and I get up.

A little while later I was aware of Kayla trying to get in bed on Joe's side. I tried to prevent her from climbing in the bed and getting comfortable since it was obviously now time to get up. I tried talking to her to keep her up and out of the bed just as much as I was talking to try and wake myself up.

I said good morning. I asked her if her alarm woke her up. I told her she couldn't get in bed because we had to get up and eat breakfast. Throughout my quick running commentary she didn't say a word; just continued to climb in to bed.

I let her stay there for a few minutes while I got up to go to the bathroom; then I would make her get out of bed.

I came back from the bathroom and leaned over the bed to pull her out of it when I noticed the bedside clock: 5:00.

That can't be right. Joe's been up for awhile; I know he has. He's getting ready for work ... he didn't just wake up. I wondered if maybe he accidentally somehow changed the time on the clock when he turned off the alarm.

So in my still foggy-from-a-restless-night-of-sleep mind I stumbled in to the living and glanced at the cable box. Yep - 5:00.

I'm trying to work through my sleep-deprived brain how come both clocks say 5:00 when I know that it must be 6:00.

I force my brain to think about the time change. Did I somehow forget that there was a time change? Think, think, ... no it's not spring forward yet.

So I look at the clock on the microwave. Unbelievably that one too is showing 5:00. This is making no sense to my brain. I'm still trying to wake up.

Joe was in the bathroom shaving. To me, that was proof enough that it wasn't 5:00 because he's usually doing that at 5:45.

So I asked him the only logical question there was to ask in my thoroughly confused state.

"Why do all the clocks say it's 5:00?"

Yes. I actually asked him why all the clocks were showing 5:00.

He gave me the only logical answer to that question, as he held back his laughter, "Because it is 5:00." Unbeknown to me, he had set the alarm earlier than usual so he could start a new exercise program.

I don't know if I mumbled the answer, or if I just thought it in my head, but my response was, "Oh, that means I can go back to bed for another hour? Thank goodness."

Although I knew that would probably be just as bad as being up an hour earlier because as soon as my body falls in to that nice, deep sleep ... it really will be 6:00 and time to get up again.

Nevertheless, I joined Kayla back in my bed for 1 more hour, or as much of that hour as I could get, of sleep.

The rest of that morning I kept thinking how funny I must have sounded to Joe - asking him why all the clocks were showing 5:00.

Why indeed.

What funny things have you done or said in a sleep-deprived state?