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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

She Turned Nine

After a loved one dies you have to get through a year of all of those 'firsts' that they'll miss. The first birthday, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas etc.

Our 'first' milestone event literally happened right after he passed away (July 12). Kayla's 9th birthday was July 15 (and the funeral was the 17th). And my birthday is tomorrow and I'm already missing his phone call.

I had planned a joint-birthday party with Kayla and a friend (her birthday was July 13) for Sat, July 14th. I left for FL the previous Mon. The birthday party could've gone on - Joe was here - but I felt stressed enough as it was preparing to go back to FL for a final goodbye and didn't have all those final details worked out for the birthday party yet. So instead of worrying about that on top of everything else we decided to postpone the party until we got back and things settled down.

Joe and my mom drove to FL with Kayla and Lucas on her birthday. Kayla knew it was her birthday. She kept saying she was NINE now. It was so hard having her birthday fall in the middle of all that was going on in FL; however since she was going to be in FL I still wanted to acknowledge her birthday. I wanted to at least have some cake and sing to her, but I didn't want to make too much of a big deal or celebration... because really, who felt like celebrating at a time like that? The first big event where family was all together in FL and my dad was absent? It was hard to do because his presence was definitely missed.

My extended family were all so sweet and nice though. They went above and beyond just having cake and signing to her ... she had presents to open too. Even though we were all hurting so much inside, it was nice to have those few hours of smiles watching Kayla excited about opening some gifts.

In the end I know my dad would have told us to celebrate her birthday. He would have said it was her day and she should have cake and presents. I'm so thankful for my family in FL allowing us the chance to focus on something happy and positive that night.





Happy 9th birthday Kayla ... I promise we will reschedule your cancelled party soon!
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7 comments:

Mom24 said...

Oh Michelle, this just makes my heart ache. I'm glad she got to celebrate. I'm sad you won't get your phone call. (((Hugs)))

Amy L said...

I bet your Dad was smiling down on Kayla and singing Happy Birthday to his precious granddaughter. He will be singing to you too Michelle. I am praying for you and your family that God will comfort you. ((HUGS))Happy Birthday to you and Kayla:)

Zoey's mom, Heather said...

Happy Birthday beautiful 9 year old.

My sweet little grand-daughter, yep, I am a grandmother amongst the chaos and beauty of my life... anyway, Charlotte turned 3, just 3 days after my mom passed away. My mom hated the singing of "Happy Birthday", slowly. she always thought it should be fun and happy and fast paced, so we made sure we did just that.

It's been just over 3 weeks. Hard to believe. Come September I will miss that phone call on the the exact minute and hour of my birth this year. I am really, really going to miss that.

Sending love and prayers, during all the 'first' Michelle.

Anonymous said...

It was the right thing to do; celebrate life, Kayla's birthday. Yes, your dad was smiling too!! It was difficult, I know. but, just look at the HUGE SMILE on Kayla's face. she is 9!! and it was SO WONDERFUL that the family knew enough to celebrate for Kayla. :) love Mom

Anonymous said...

Its so hard i know. Hugs to you Kayla. My grandmother died on my twin sisters and my 13th birthday.

krlr said...

Sometimes it's hard to fathom how the sun keeps coming up each morning. But it does, and the days tick by and then those milestones & birthdays arrive. I'm so sorry for your loss and so touched that your family rallied to give a little girl her cake & candles. Happy Birthday Kayla!

Angel said...

We have had a few 'hospital' birthday, and yes, it was so hard to be happy when we obviously had bigger things going on. But those little kiddos sure are able to forget hurt for a few hours and remind us how to celebrate. :) Glad she was able to celebrate the big 9. What a great family to make her day special in spite of the circumstances.