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Monday, September 21, 2009

The End

Two months ago Lucas stopped nursing.

The end of nursing. The end of his 'babyhood.'

And it does feel so final and the end of anything baby for us; since we're pretty sure our family is complete.

It's such an odd feeling when it comes to the end of nursing. Mixed emotions, bittersweet.

Yay no more nursing bras!

But sad too because no more quiet time cuddling..he's too busy for that anymore. And he doesn't need me anymore, not like he used to.

By the time he finished nursing we were only down to nursing right before bedtime anyway, but still, that was "our time" - our quiet routine together.

He'll be 19 months old on Wed and he's just not my baby anymore. At all.

He says well over 30 words and he thinks he's big stuff. He wants to do everything himself. I feel like Marlin, Nemo's dad saying, "You think you can do these things, but you just can't Lucas!" He just gets so upset if you don't let him do something and tells you "I do I do I do!"

I look at the boppy pillow sitting in my room that held up through Kayla's babyhood and now ending with Lucas. It held up pretty well for nursing both of them for 18 months each, but it's seen better days. Somehow I haven't been able to get rid of it yet...I"m not quite ready for the end of it...it's just too final.

But sometimes you have to let go and let them grow up...even when you're not ready to.



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21 comments:

Tara said...

he is such a handome little guy. I feel the same emotions a lot. We know Koen is our last one and it's sad knowing it's the last baby.

Tina said...

He's so cute :) I never really had that kind of attachment to nursing. I did agonize over stopping, but once I stopped, I didn't miss it.

We were pretty sure our family was complete after Jake. God had other plans and having 3 has been SO. MUCH. FUN! I highly recommend having a third :)

Beth said...

It is sooo bittersweet, isn't it!? You want to see them grow and become independent - but then you don't....I know I'm missing some things already and Brady is only 9 months old!

LJ said...

well if this wasn't a post for my sad soppy self I don't know who it was for! Accepting that they grow up. I'm having a hard time with that. And mine is 10.

Melanie D. said...

What a beautiful pictures. He looks like a sweet boy. I remember that feeling too - our little guy changed so much from one to two. And now he's in preschool and will be FOUR in April! It does go so fast, I don't blame you one bit for wanting to hold on to it!

Nancy M. said...

I didn't want it to end with my last one either! It's so sad thinking that's your last baby.

Laura said...

I agree such a hard thing to stop...such a precious bond. But yes they do grow up, and way to fast! Lucas is so handsome :)

Praying your dad is doing well.

Ellen said...

I nursed J until she was 17.5 months, and I had the very same feelings. It was so liberating, and yet I missed that quiet time terribly.

Beverly said...

it is a sad time. Noah was 2 1/2 and it was still sad for me.

Mom24 said...

(((Hugs))) I remember how hard that was when my kids weaned themselves...right around Lucas' age as well. What a wonderful gift you gave him.

PS--I agree, three is pretty cool, of course, in my case, so is 4. ;-)

Lacey said...

Oh, I would be so sad too. I remember the one thing that upset me the most was not being able to breastfeed my last baby. Jax did ok for a couple of months, but the rest of the time it was a date with a breastpump. Not quite the bonding I was looking for.

Sasha@ Blyssfulhealth said...

He is such a cutie. Just think what a good start you have given him with your milk. So amazing isn't it. It was hard for me to stop with my daughter because she didn't want to around 20 months..but my health was declining. It's such a precious time of love, comfort and bonding. I am glad that I was able to bf Wysdom for a month.

Bonita said...

I feel your pain. I remember well how much I enjoyed nursing my babies and was looking forward to nursing my youngest for a good long while. Unfortunately, I got some sort of virus or something and my breast milk dried up even though she was an aggressive nurser. I was so disappointed that I only got to nurse her for five months.

Now I face a different mommy challenge. I have a senior! I can't even imagine the mommy pain that awaits me at his graduation in May! But, like Scarlett O'Hara, I'm just not going to think about that today.

jessica @ raising joey said...

Wow, time flies!

Aiden is less than one month old and I'm already sick of nursing bras! LOL!

AZ Mommy said...

We lasted 14 months. C was not ready but I was. Ready for him to not be attached to me literally, but not ready to stop the cuddling. I miss the cuddling.

chelle said...

awww how bitter sweet. I am just on the last road with this baby. I am so not looking forward to never nursing again!

Monica Crumley said...

I totally know the feeling. I miss the quiet and the cuddling. It forced me to actually sit everyday and relax. BUT, I, too, hated the nursing bras and total reliance on my body. But I feel good that each of my children had between 10 and 12 months of nursing.

Beck said...

Aw. He's a sweet little man.

much more than a mom said...

Bella was 17 months when she weaned too, and I wasn't ready either. At least we were blessed to do it though, right?

grandma said...

Where has the time gone. We were so fortunate to have been able to share more in Kayla's babyhood then we have been Lucas' and it's sad to think that he's wanting to grow up so fast.

Calico Sky said...

Oh Michelle this made me cry, I have never thought what it must feel like to know you've nursed your last baby, it must be sad. Well done you for commiting to it and remembering it so fondly!

I too hope you have a third though ;) In fact in the last month I know three people who were most definitely "finished at two" have a very surprise third and ALL of them are totally totally thrilled now even though they were sure they were done!!