Reality Check

I guess I've been living in a little bubble of ignorant bliss.

When Joe deployed last year I said, "well at least it's only 4 months, we can get through that. And, "at least it's not for a year."

I was thankful Joe wasn't in the Army, because they routinely deploy for 12-15 months, so I just kept telling myself "at least it's not for a year."

Joe told me, "there are some Air Force deployments that are for a year now, John just got a 365" (John being his former immediate supervisor who deployed for a year last year.)

Then a mom I know from base and MOPS found out her husband was deploying last year...he had 3 months of training followed by a 1-year deployment with the Army. I felt so bad for her and their 4 girls, especially because her husband returned from a deployment the year before, but he works in Ammo so once again I thought, at least Joe's not going for a year.

A couple months ago Joe told me that his rotation would be coming up again most likely in May '09 for another deployment and it was most likely going to be for 6 months. Ok, 2 more months then last time, I guess I can deal with that. Because, all together now, at least it's not a year! I was also hoping he would get orders and that would delay another deployment for awhile.

You see where this is going don't you? We're in OK on vacation and on Mon Joe received a call from someone at work that his name just showed up on a deployment list. So Joe gets online to check his work email. Sure enough, there was a notification.

It said, "congratulations! You are the most elegible non-volunteer selected for a 365-day all expenses paid vacation/relocation to Afghanistan!" Ok it didn't say "congratulations" and it didn't say "all expenses paid vacation" but the rest? The one-year deployment has now become my reality. Oh yeah, he'll need to go to NJ for a month of training before heading on the year-long deployment, and report in country by mid-Feb - before Lucas's first birthday.

Pop went my bubble of non-one-year deployment bliss. It really blindsided us, something we were not expecting. I'm still digesting this...digesting that come Jan my husband will be gone for 13 months.

I know families go through this all the time, (hi Renee!) I know this is the state of the military now, but it doesn't make it any easier, it doesn't mean I'm not going to miss my husband. And it surely doesn't mean I have to like it. I know none of the military spouses like it - a whole year (or more) out of our lives that we can't get back; a whole year of parents being apart from their kids and missing out on so much.

Lucas will still be a baby when he leaves and a toddler when he returns. I'm already wondering if Lucas will know/realize who Joe is when he gets back. I wonder how Kayla is going to deal with the deployment this time, being so much longer.

We'll get through it and deal with it, because really, what else can you do?

Definitely not a phone call you want to get while you're on vacation though.