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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Denial

I think I've been in denial that we're going to have a baby in the house sometime in the next few weeks! I don't know how that can be when I'm getting kicked and pushed in the ribs, can't sleep, hard to roll over, hard to bend over and tie my shoes, my sides and back hurt...etc...it's obvious there is a baby coming! LOL

I guess at first Feb seemed so far away and now it has crept up on me and I'm not ready.

I am ready to meet our new baby and have my body back to myself! But I'm not completely ready for doing this all over again!

As we were going to bed the other night I told Joe I'm just not ready for there to be a newborn in our room again! I like my peace and quite, even if I have trouble sleeping through the night. I'm not ready to have to wake up every few hours for those diaper changes and nursing sessions. I just want to enjoy this last little bit of time before our family becomes a family of 4.

Last weekend I started to feel different feelings and sensations, different pressure and pinches. So when I had my OB appt on Mon I asked the midwife to check and see if anything was going on. I didn't really expect her to say anything other than, "nope, nothing is happening!" So I was a little shocked when she did in fact say "your cervix is thin and you're 50% effaced." I did a quick intake of breath..."I am?!" Now I know that women can stay 50% effaced for weeks and nothing happens, so I didn't go home thinking "ok any day now!" but it really made me realize how close we are getting to bringing this baby home...and how little preparation we've done!

We really needed to clean out/organize/purge our outside storage closet and shed; but a lot of that I just couldn't do without Joe's help. Yesterday he tackled the storage closet and I helped when I got home from MOPS. We were able to find the bins with all of Kayla's old clothes (I saved just about everything!) I retrieved the 2 that had the newborn and mostly 0-3 clothes and brought them inside. Now I need to go through and pull out the gender-neutral ones, and maybe one girl and one boy (yes I do have a few boy-specific clothes from when Kayla was born) outfit for coming home from the hospital. Then I've got to wash everything.

Today Joe was able to clean out the shed and we were able to find the infant car seat, bassinet, swing (which we had to throw away because mice got to it), baby bath, bouncer ... thank goodness everything else was in good shape - just needs a good washing. See I really did save most everything of Kayla's! I didn't think it would be almost 5 yrs before we had another though :) (Mom you would be shocked to see what these look like now - there is room to move around!)

So we're making progress; I still need to start packing a hospital bag though. We have a list of names we're working with...still need to make a decision on which name we're going to use.

I guess the countdown has started; I just hope this baby gives us a couple more weeks at least!


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40 comments:

~Melissa~ said...

You ARE so close! I'm glad you aren't feeling rushed to have the baby, but instead are choosing to enjoy the time before you are a family of 4. Glad you could re-use Kayla's items too - that's helpful!

Valtool said...

im so excited for you..cant believe i have been reading your blog a whole pregnancy

Cate said...

Wow, you are close! It probably hasn't flown by for you, but it seems like it was just yesterday you posted the pictures of Kayla in the big sister shirt. So exciting!

And I'm your opposite right now. I'm packing up all the tiny baby stuff. How are we finished with the baby tub? and the bumbo seat? and the baby carseat? It really does go by fast. Such a cliche, but it's true.

amber said...

Wow, you are getting so close! I can't wait to find out if you are having a boy or girl and what you will name the little scooter. I am so excited for you...and I can't believe that I am just a couple of weeks behind you. When did this happen? :)

Tara said...

I'm so excited for you. I imagine reality set in when the midwife said 50% effaced. I can't wait to see pictures of this new little baby!

andria said...

I felt the same way, but when the new baby came it just all fell into place.

I can't wait to hear the good news and see Kayla's reaction too.

Pam said...

Bless your heart, Michelle. I remember feeling the same way when going from one to two children.

I will be praying for God to give you just the right amount of time and also to prepare your heart for the actual day of delivery.

Can't wait to see what outfit you'll be needing and what name y'all choose. I'm sure it will be lovely whatever the final choice is.

Anonymous said...

It is here!!! You know, Michelle, when I was pregnant with your sister , Kelly, I enjoyed being pregnant (even with all the aches and pains and etc.)one reason is because, I did not have to get up change diapers, nurse and etc. :) so, I know how you are feeling!!! It is a joy having a newborn, but it is a constant involvement once a baby is here.. :) and than it all becomes routine....HAPPINESS, JOY, PRECIOUS TINY NOISES, AWE, LOVE..... wow, I bet there is alot of room now in the shed and storage room... Enjoy the NOW !! love mom

Heather said...

Wow! I am so excited for you! Before long, your family of four will all be together and these days will seem a distant memory.

StephthefutrRxDr said...

Yay! I'm so excited for you and I can't wait to see pics of this new little baby. I have a feeling it's a boy!! Can you share some names with us or is it a surprise?

Karly said...

I am excited for you. It sounds like your body is starting to get ready, even if you mind isn't quite there yet! I have often heard moms say that it is almost harder to go from 1 to 2, than 0 to 1 kids...you actually know what you are "in for" the second time around. Ignorance is bliss that first time, I guess. The good news is that you also know how to deal with all that stuff you are "in for." You are going to do great!

Tanya said...

Once he/she arrives I'm sure you're going to love it!! It will feel like you waited so long for that little one to become part of your family :)

I've already felt all of those emotions you're going through and I'm less than 3 mos. along. I feel like we have so much left to do to get ready for the little one to arrive. And we seem to be taking on more new remodeling projects - it's never ending!

Dori (Aviva's mommy) said...

You are almost there..how exciting. WOW 50% effaced..enjoy the last few weeks.

HUGS!

chelle said...

What your feeling is so totally normal. I remember talking with J about how I could not believe we were messing with something so wonderful. We had a groove. And you know, it took some time but we got our groove back, better than ever with the baby too!

Beck said...

You'll be shocked by how ready you actually are when the baby gets here, I'm sure!

Nancy said...

I'm so EXCITED for you!

I sure do miss being pregnant. Except for forgetting I was pregnant at 8 or 9 months and leaping out of bed. OUCH--Those round ligaments do smart!

Take care of yourself and enjoy those last days of pregnancy and peace.

Nisa said...

Wow. It seems like the time went sooo fast! I remember being a little nervous about caring for a newborn Nate while still spending quality time with Rhi. Everything just worked itself out. I kept thinking we weren't ready, but we were, and I think you are too. It's just that it's... WOW!! Already?! Lemme know when I came come to visit!! I'm ready!!!

Glo said...

I think we're having us a baby boom. Michelle over at until he comes home had a little boy Monday 1/28. He was a little early,but mother and son are doing fine. She has pictures posted.
I'm so glad Joe is here with you. I'll be cking every day. Kayla is going to be a great big sister. Our prayers are with you.
Love and God bless

Omaha Mama said...

It's amazing how even if you don't feel ready, when the times comes, you'll be ready! I was waddling around, packing a bag in labor with my 2nd. It had been on my to do list for the next day. I just didn't quite make it.

I hope you can enjoy this last bits of time. Take lots of pictures of Kayla, you'll be surprised how much it all changes when your baby becomes a sibling. It's all so fast! And you'll be so shocked at how huge she'll suddenly seem. I'm remembering it all now, and wishing you all the best!

A Chelsea Morning said...

I know exactly what you're going through, Michelle. Krissy has been exactly the same - it seemed like the baby was months away and suddenly it's upon her. She's been working like crazy to move Cameron to a new big boy room and ready the nursery for a girl on March third. Poor thing. She's so sick right now (sinus infection and horrible chest cold) I'm keeping Cameron for the next couple of days so she can recover.

This last month is the longest month of the whole pregnancy, isn't it? But in your case, 50% effaced, girl, get that hospital bag packed! I'm so excited for you. And for Krissy. And for me!

:-)

Sue "Sioux" Seibert said...

Love, prayers, and blessings on the way to the 4 of you!

Karen said...

It's all so exciting! I remember fondly the days of preparing for baby, whether it was months in advance or mere hours. I'll be thinking of you!

Dana a/k/a Sunshine said...

Just reading your post, I'm getting excited FOR you Michelle! That is so very exciting and thrilling and yet scarey all at the same time. It will be here before you know it!!

Good luck with everything.

Carrie! :o) said...

Awwww, Michelle!! I am so glad you stopped by to see me! I had been wondering if you were getting closer and if Joe was home. SO glad that he's home safe and sound. I sure remember those feelings you're having. With Levi being 7 months now, it's amazing to think how fast that time flew. I can't wait until you have that precious lil' bundle in your arms!!

Beth said...

Hang in there and definitely enjoy these few weeks before new baby arrives! I love that you don't know if you're having a boy or girl - we didn't find out with either of our girls! It is such a great surprise! Take care of yourself!
~Beth~

Sandra said...

I'm so excited for you Michelle, I can't wait to see the little one and especially not knowing if it's a boy or girl.....I think in a way we the readers of your blog feel like we've been going through this pregnancy with you and are eager to see the baby too LOL

Enjoy the last few weeks of quiet and sleeping, as hard as it is with a newborn, it's so worth it :)

Hugs,
Sandra

Killlashandra said...

I'm so happy for you the time is almost up! I think denial is normal, but the organizing sounded like some great first steps. Stay well.

Shannon @ Gabi's World said...

I am excited for you. I was totally miserable during my last pregnancy and was barely sleeping so I was thankful to have Preston out. I think I got more sleep with a newborn than I did waking every 45 minutes to an hour to pee and try to get comfortable.

I can't wait to see this precious one and find out if it's a girl our boy. A girl would be nice for Kayla, but then I just love boys! Either way, you'll be blessed!

Dena said...

I feel like it went sooo fast! In 2 months you will be saying - i don't remember life without a baby! you are going to fall right back into the routine and Kayla is going to be a BIG help I just know it! So fun - I can't wait! Enjoy your last few moments and 50% would freak me out too!

camille said...

Wow that is so exciting! I also hope you get a few more weeks, but I agree it will be nice to have your body back. I went a full 42 weeks with Connor and had to be induced and it was soooo wonderful to not be pregnant after that. Breathing was so much easier. Looking forward to that day for you and I can't wait to see your little bundle!!

Joy said...

I've felt that way with each pregnancy! Hope getting ready goes well. And that you can REST some too!

ChupieandJ'smama said...

I'm still in denial about #2 and he's 3 1/2 (I'm just kidding.... I think).
You're nesting now! It won't be much longer and when the new baby gets here it'll be like he/she has ALWAYS been here. You'll slip right into new mommy mode with no problems. It's just that you know what to expect this time so it makes it a little more unnerving :)

Karen said...

It is February 1st here, and I can't quite believe it myself. It does seem to have swept by. May God prepare you in every way you need for your new arrival. xxx

Much More Than a Mom said...

Wow - I can hardly wait to find out what you have!!

Anonymous said...

Wow the time is almost here! It seems like you just announce you were pregnant.It is good you saved baby things from Kayla. I wished I saved more from Katie when I had Tiffany. I know it is a lot of fun getting things ready for your new little one.
love,
mimi

Julie said...

It really sneaks up on you huh? You will be fine. I never noticed in your post, do you know what you are having? I didn't know with the girls but did with Noah. I really don't think it made that much difference.

K.T. is Mommatude said...

I was just the same with my last baby-I stayed that way for a month and still didnt go into spontaneous labor...LOL.How exciting-I imagine it will be a difficult transition as well-I have thought about that many times as well with my youngest being 6but I bet it is easy to settle back into the routine once you get used to it.SO happy for you guys!!!

Sue said...

Oh my - you're just getting all that out? I would be all stressed about it. :) I know what you mean about the 'being prepared for no sleep' bit. You can't every prepare for the midnight feedings. And the up all night to pee and from pain is just unfair - that's when you need your sleep the most.

I kept everything too. Just actually am getting around to getting rid of it all. It's a weird feeling!

Chris said...

Sounds like that nesting instinct is kicking in. I have been reading your blog for a couple of months now. Your daughter is beautiful and will be an awesome big sister. So glad your husband is home. Enjoy this time as a family of 3 and try to get a little sleep!

Melany aka Supermom said...

Oh wow...It's almost time!? Good luck with getting everything prepared. It normally is much quicker to get things ready than you expect :)