"Family Matters"

Earlier this month I came across a blog called Chewing The Fat. Dave Hingsburger wrote a post titled Family Matters and I wanted to share it with you. You can read the entire post at that link, but I'll just quote part of the story.

He was checking in at a hotel where a family of 5 was in front of him. The father had made some mistake with the reservation, the mother was grumpy and snapped at him.

Suddenly there was a voice from the youngest of the group. "Mom, stop being mean to dad. He just made a mistake, you should be patient with him like you are with me when I make a mistake." She looked sheepish and apologized. We all smiled. The two other daughters glanced at each other, their eyes meeting knowingly. This had obviously happened before, often. I thought I heard the accent so I double checked and sure enough the youngest had Down Syndrome. I'd recognize that lilt anywhere.

Dad smiled at his wife and said, "You'd better listen to your daughter." Then the little girl turned on her dad, "Well, Dad, Mom's just mad cause you keep making mistakes. You never ask for help, so you keep making mistakes. I don't make a lot of mistakes cause I know when to ask for help." Mom looked vindicated and Dad looked put in his place. This kid had no lack of self esteem or assertiveness. She stood there looking at both of them like a frustrated parent.

"I guess, I've been told," Dad said looking at the clerk who was grinning now. Suddenly none of them seemed as tired and disgruntled as they were just moments before.

As he handed the key to his wife, he handed his credit card to the clerk. Mom and brood headed towards the elevator. Dad said, under his breath, "She was the best tough decision we ever made."

Tears sprung to my eyes. She was wanted. Expected. Decided upon. She survived.

And she clearly delivered.

I wonder who the family would have been without her. What the evening would have been like without her to give gentle but firm wisdom. To not take sides. To be a bridge over troubled water.

I wonder if that extra chromosome carries with it common sense and uncommon wisdom?

I wonder what they expected.

I wonder at what they got.

I love how Mr. Hingsburger used the word "wonder" with different meaning in the last 2 sentences.

He wondered (was curious) what the parents were expecting. Then he wondered (marveled) at what their daughter has brought them.

I wonder at what I got with Kayla too.