Birthday Number Twelve

My not-so-little kiddo is now twelve! Lucas is almost as tall as me now; I wouldn't be surprised if he's taller than me by his 13th birthday!

Kayla had an archery tournament in Myrtle Beach, and just like a few years ago, it fell right around his birthday. My mom, stepdad, sister, and grandfather met us in Myrtle Beach for Kaya's tournament and an early birthday celebration. So glad we were able to get together.

 When we got back home we had a fun time roller skating on his birthday, and in a couple weeks he'll have his friend birthday party. 

He continues to enjoy soccer, chess, reading, Legos, Minecraft, and playing outside. He's a pretty great kid with a kind heart and big dreams ... and I can't wait to watch them all unfold.

Happy 12th birthday Lucas! 

The Root Beer Float Challenge

Over the summer I received an email about a new game coming on the market from Playtacular called The Root Beer Float Challenge.

I was intrigued, but I admit I was also thinking our game closet really doesn't need another board game! I'm glad I decided to take a chance on this game (disclaimer: I received a complimentary game) because this isn't just any board game - it's not a "board" game at all. This is a get-out-of-your-seat and complete challenges game. I like that this is an active game as it puts a new spin on a traditional family game.

The object of the game is to be the first person to collect all the pieces for your root beer float: ice cream, root beer, cherry, and straw. The pieces are cards with those images. You collect the pieces by succeeding in various challenges using the ice cream "ball", cherries, straws, and tin canister that everything stores neatly inside. and the challenges are either done solo, head-to-head (you pick someone to compete against) or cooperative (you pick someone to do the challenge with).

There are 120 challenge cards and much hilarity follows! Try placing the ice cream ball between your knees/thighs and walk so many steps to squat and drop the ball in the canister! I looked so funny waddling over to the canister trying not to drop the ball and everyone was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants!

We brought this game on our road trip this summer (easy and compact to travel with) and played at my mom's house; everyone had a great time and got a lot of laughs out of it. When we were home Lucas had a couple friends over and couldn't wait to show them and play a game.

This is a great family game geared towards ages 8+ and for 2-8 players. It would be great for a birthday party!

Christmas in Helen, GA

We spent Christmas (I know, it was 2 months ago already) in Helen, Ga. It's a quaint little Bavarian-themed town in the mountains. We were hoping for snow, but that didn't happen (at least not until later).

We had a fun week away exploring a new-to-us area.

Night-time mini golf with Christmas lights/decorations all around

We did some geocaching in the surrounding area

Had to visit Babyland, home of the Cabbage Patch Kids!

And Kayla used some Christmas money to adopt her very own Cabbage Patch Kid. 

Sharing a Bavarian pretzel

A nice hike to the twin Anna Ruby Falls

Visiting Family in Wisconsin

Last month we went to Wisconsin for my grandmother's funeral. Initially I didn't think we would be able to make it because of the stress with dealing with the impeding Hurricane Irma. Thankfully that didn't impact out area too much.

The first of our 3 flights to get there. We were all smiles. By the end of the 3rd flight (one of those very small planes where we were sitting in the very back) I had almost lost the contents of my stomach and Kayla and Lucas were also feeling a bit queasy! Fun times. 

Kayla honed in on how difficult this was for my grandfather and she was constantly by his side trying to comfort him.

Even during the service she managed to sit next to him and as you can see she made sure he knew she was there for him. One of my cousins was sitting on the other side of Kayla and at one point she had her hand up on both of their shoulders (I didn't manage to capture that photograph though).

A little scenic spot we drove by when we went back and forth to our hotel; finally had to stop and take a picture. I imagine it looks even more pretty now with the fall colors on the leaves by this time.

A couple of funny stories from Lucas' observations.

My great-grandma lived on one side of my grandparents' house up until she died in 1989. I don't know the occupants of the house now, but that house will always be "my great-grandma's house" to me. I had also been explaining to the kids that their great-grandma was who passed away.

Lucas and I went outside to throw the frisbee and looking at what was my great-grandma's house he said, "They have a barn?" (It kind of does resemble the look of a barn).
I said, "No that's great-grandma's house."
L, "Oh so they lived in separate houses?"

Hahahahaha!

I explained that it was my great-grandma's house and his great-great grandma's house. It was his great-grandpa (whose house we were at) mother's house.

A little while later as we were still outside playing, my great-uncle and his wife came out of my grandfather's house. This is my grandfather's brother - and he lives on the other side of my grandfather's house.

We chatted for a few minutes and then they continued walking and when Lucas turned around he realized they went in that house and asked me, "They live right there?"

Me, "Yes. That's great-grandpa's brother."
L, "So the people in these 3 houses are all related?!"

I laughed and told him yes, they used to, until their mom passed away. It's not a relative in that first house anymore.

I'm glad it all worked out and I'm glad the kids and I were able to be there with my family.

The Game of Chess

I don't know how, or when, it first happened, but a few years ago Lucas took an interest to chess. My mom bought him his first chess set and he was so excited to start playing.

Thank goodness Joe knows how to play, because I know nothing about the game of chess except the name of the pieces!

There were some tears and frustration in the beginning as Joe, not one to just let Lucas win, would win every game. But Lucas hung in there and that first time he beat his dad in a game of chess was pretty thrilling. He still didn't win too many games against Joe, but they kept playing and eventually he started winning more and more until Joe said they were pretty evenly matched.

Lucas joined the chess club at his school last year and then the library started a chess club which he joined as well.

He went to his first chess match with his school and finished 8th out of 18 players.

The library's chess club had an informal tournament and he placed second.

The kids and I went to Wisconsin for my grandmother's funeral and I took him to the basement of my grandparents' house to see what treasures we could find.

There was the Frisbee that we took outside until the bugs and the darkness that got the best of us, there was the Etch-a-Sketch that prompted Lucas to ask for one for Christmas, and then there was the jackpot: the chess set. Two chess sets actually. He brought one upstairs and thankfully had some willing competitors in his great-uncles and second cousins. I'm glad these memories were made because I know he thoroughly enjoyed himself.

And he's finally stopped asking me to play chess.

"I don't know to play, Lucas!"

"I'll teach you!"

Chess doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I just don't have the patience to learn it!

I'm glad that he's got his dad, and his chess clubs, to keep him sharp with the game though.

They Are in the Moon

A few weeks ago, out of the blue, I had this conversation with Kayla.

Kayla, "Pepere went to the moon."
Me, "What are you talking about?"
K, "You know your dad? He died?"
M, "Yeah..."
K, "You know your dad's in heaven?"
M, "Yes..."
K, "Pepere went to the moon."
M, "Since Pepere's in heaven he's visiting the moon?"
K, "Yeah! He's in the moon!"
M, "Did Pepere tell you that in a dream or something?"
K, "Yeah! He said Hi Kayla. I love you. I'm in the moon."

Sometimes I don't think the finality of death is clear to Kayla or that she fully comprehends what it means because she has said she wants to go to Pepere's house. When I remind her that we can't go see him in his house anymore because he died she'll say that he can come to our house. I tell her he can't do that anymore either because he's buried in a cemetery in FL.

But then other times she'll say something so profound like this image of him being in the moon.

I never thought of it that way - the souls of our loved ones being in the moon - but now that she's verbalized it I think it's a beautiful thought.

She has said this several times since then; telling me my dad is in the moon and saying the moon is bright from my dad.

My grandmother (my mom's mom) passed away the evening of Sep 5th. On Sep 5, 6, and 7 there was a full moon. Thanks to Kayla I'm now inclined to think the moon was full those 3 nights, and a little brighter, because my grandma joined my dad in the moon.

My grandma was 88 years old; married for 66 yrs and had 6 children

(This isn't everyone) They have 11 grandchildren (+2 predeceased at birth) and 12 great-grandchildren

Such love between them. My grandfather was her caretaker the last several years. 

A 4-generation photo shortly after Kayla was born.

It goes without saying that my dear grandma will be deeply missed.

The Twelve Mile Bike Ride

I've been chronicling Kayla's journey to becoming an independent bike rider and two years ago she finally started riding a bike.

The year following that we didn't do much bike riding out as a family, but Kayla would frequently ride her bike around the block and gained more confidence and independence. Finally we took a family bike ride was off of our street/block and through a different part of our development. It was about 2 miles and I don't know what took me so long to do that with Kayla. For some reason I kept thinking that although she was riding around our street, she still wasn't ready to venture beyond that. All went well and we did that multiple times last year.

Because we live in the South where it's warm pretty much year round, we found ourselves taking our bikes out to an actual bike/running/walking (paved) trail on Christmas Eve day when it was near 70 degrees. This was the first time we took our bikes out of development ... and one of the things I had been longing to do while waiting/hoping/wishing Kayla would learn to ride a bike.

We had no set goals or predetermined spot along the trail where we planned to stop and turn around. We just figured we would ride a bit until Kayla got tired and then turn around. This particular trail actually ends up at Kayla's school ... about 6 miles from where we started. We mentioned that to Kayla, not with the intention of biking out there, but just as a point of reference - Hey this goes to your school!

Well, that was all the motivation she needed and the goal was set: she wanted to bike to her school. Of course the context of six miles means nothing to her. She was on the Running Club at school last year and part of their run would take them on this trail, but no where near where we were starting, it was only out near the school and back. But since the trail looks similar most of the way through, Kayla kept thinking we were closer to her school by saying that's where they would run for Running Club.

Anyway, we made it out to her school and what I was afraid of happening did happen. She was done. There was no motivation to go back the six miles we just came to get back to our van. We just started pedaling to go back when it started, "My legs are tired." Not that I blamed her. I think we were too ambitious thinking we could do a 12.6 mile bike ride our first time out as a family. But we had no choice, we had to bike back the way we came.

Joe was able to distract her and make her forget about her tired legs and we were once again off. A few more complaints here and there, but overall she did great on the way back. Until that one time she decided to stop. She came to a dead stop with Joe biking right behind her. He was behind her because a couple was walking on the opposite side of the path. He crashed into her bike with his handlebars going into her back. Of course there were tears, lots of tears. I worried about her getting back on her bike and just knew she wouldn't after that; yet we weren't quite close enough to our van for it to be a quick walk either. This was the moment of truth - would she quit after the crash and refuse to get back on? Or would she get back on that horse again?

Joe was able to calm her down and thankfully the tears dried up and she did it. She got back on her bike and we finally made it back to the van.

I was so proud of her for completing our first bike ride out on a trail, and just over 12 miles at that!

The Summer of 2012

It has been five years since the summer of 2012.

For me that summer is mostly defined by my father's death. At the start of every summer since then I have to repress the melancholy feeling in the pit of my stomach at remembering everything that happened.

It actually started a month before - in May - when my dad called to say that he decided not to continue with any more chemo treatments as they just didn't seem to be doing anything.

A few weeks after that we were in Denmark - a trip that was probably planned a year in advance. While we were there I got word that my dad was in a bad place and no one knew what was going on or if he would still be with us when we got back from Denmark. Thankfully he was; he had some excruciating pain and finally was admitted to hospice but eventually went back home with a morphine drip and a nurse who would check in on him.

A few days after we got back from Denmark we were in Florida to visit with my dad. I will never forget as soon as I stepped out of the vehicle he grabbed me up in a big hug and started crying and said to me, "I thought I would never see you again." There was no way I could maintain my composure after that, even though I tried to keep it together.

The day after we arrived he developed a blood clot in his leg and was back in the hospice house. He said he wanted treatment so he was transferred to the hospital to try and get the right dosage of medicine and once that was under control he went back to the hospice house - and never did go back to his own house.

We went back home and then weekend before the 4th of July dad called while we were at the beach - during that phone call he broke down crying again and I knew I had to go back to Fl. The next day I packed the kids and myself up and we were off to spend his last 4th of July watching fireworks from the hospice house parking lot with my dad. It was his last good day.

We went home the next day and the day after that he took a turn for the worse and a few days later I found myself once again in Florida.

I was sitting in his room when he took his last breaths on July 12th. We celebrated Kayla's 9th birthday on July 15 amidst all that sadness. His funeral was on July 17th and the stress of it all kept coming. The day we were heading back home we realized Kayla's thumb needed medical attention - it was red and swollen. We went from urgent care to the ER to finally have it lanced and drained.

We were only home for another brief stay before we were packing again and off to DC for the Down syndrome convention. It was hard to be there, I hardly had time to catch my breath and grieve, but I also needed to be there for the distraction.

So it was the summer of a lot of traveling and consumed by the uncertainty of how much time my father had left, until his death. So every summer I'm reminded of what I was doing that summer of 2012.

It's only been five years, but it feels like it's already been a life time because of everything that he's missed out on:

- Lucas starting school (he was only 4 when my dad died and I don't think he has much of a memory of him
- Kayla becoming a teenager and starting middle school
- Me hitting my 40s
- Joe's retirement from the Air Force
- Lucas' first 10k
- New hobbies for the kids: archery, chess, geocaching, metal detecting
 - The birth of a grandson
- Grandkids starting, and graduating from, high school
- Grandkids getting their driver's licenses
- Military promotions for my brother and his wife
- Championships for the Red Sox & Patriots

Life goes on. I sure wish he was still here watching life go on.

A few days ago we were driving home in a thunderstorm which was putting Kayla on edge. She hates thunder and lightning and was getting herself all worked up about it. Sweet Caroline came on the radio. The kids had just been exposed to the experience of Sweet Caroline at the ballpark a week before so I was able to remind her about that and it distracted her from the thunderstorm as we sang along. We rarely hear Sweet Caroline on the radio - I told Kayla that was Pepere sending her the song to help her during the thunderstorm.

Thanks Dad, for still watching out for us.

There is Some Resemblance There!

Most of the time when I look at Kayla, or look through pictures of her, I don't see a strong resemblance to myself.

I look through pictures from when I was a baby, or toddler, or young girl and try to see Kayla in those pictures, but still don't usually see anything that makes me think she looks like me.

Yes, she has an extra chromosome which does lead to some characteristics that I don't have, but she also has all those other genes and chromosomes and my DNA so she should resemble me somewhat!

I look at other kids with Down syndrome and their families and siblings and can usually see such a strong resemblance with their other family members...like it is so obvious who they belong to.

I think Lucas looks like my brother and he looks like Joe in this picture of Joe as a young boy.

Even when I look at that old picture of Joe, I don't see a big resemblance with Kayla as I see with Lucas.

Last year Kayla and I took some pictures together ... and finally ... finally! (in this picture anyway) I can see a bit of resemblance. In this picture I can say that she does favor me, even if it's just a little bit!

And maybe a tiny bit in this old picture of me (but I still see mostly Lucas, ha!)

Grab This Button

<a href="http://mdbeau.blogspot.com/2016/09/10th-annual-31-for-21-blogging-for-down.html"><img src="http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x198/wish4rk/TTR31for21-5.png" /></a> <a href="http://mdbeau.blogspot.com/2016/09/10th-annual-31-for-21-blogging-for-down.html">Grab This Button</a>